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Seth’s face flashes through my mind, making me miss him terribly. I wish there was a way to talk to him. He’s the only one who knows what I’ve been through and the only one who can keep the pain at bay.
I’m afraid to close my eyes because I know the nightmares will come back.
The things I’ve suppressed for so long will eventually come back to haunt me. I have no control over my subconscious. It’ll replay every painful memory when I fall asleep.
I try to stay awake for as long as possible but eventually, my tired eyes fall close. My exhaustion makes me succumb to sleep. And before I know it, I’m trapped in the same nightmare all over again.
18
Aurora
I poke at the hollows of my cheek and stare at the dark circles rimming my eyes. The shower has washed away all my makeup, giving me a glimpse of my true features. Without the illusion of makeup, my face looks horribly ugly.
My own reflection scares me.
How could Seth bring himself to have sex with a woman who looked like a walking skeleton?
Only now I’m realizing he slept with me to ease me through my heat. He had no intention other than to truly protect me. He would’ve never touched me if it hadn’t been absolutely necessary.
Seth’s naked body rises in my mind, reminding me of his powerful, well-defined muscles. It would’ve been so easy for him to crush my bones between his thick fingers. If he hadn’t been careful, he could’ve seriously hurt me and left me as broken and bruised as the men who used me.
An omega’s perfume has the power to drive an alpha mad with lust, shattering their control over their senses. Only now I’m understanding Seth’s mental strength that got me through my heat without leaving a bruise on me.
He must’ve been in pain while doing his best to lavish me with pleasure.
Seth is different, I realize with a painful twinge.
After meeting so many awful alphas, I could never bring myself to trust him.
Guilt settles in my gut. Despite everything he did for me, I was horrible to him. He was trying to help me but I kept insulting him in the worst ways. Anyone in his place would’ve told me to fuck off but he painstakingly watched over me.
The regret of never asking him anything about his personal life is coming back to haunt me. He was my savior and only friend during the most vulnerable point in my life. If he hadn’t rescued me and taken me away that day, I doubt I could’ve returned home this way. He’s the only reason I got a chance to heal from the trauma of my captivity.
Seth bore the seeds of hope in me. He gave me the strength and will to overcome the hell Jake unleashed on me. Without his help, I would’ve never gotten the confidence to return home and hide my association with the Black Widow.
Dad and Heather are already so worried about me. I shudder to think how hurt they would be if they knew the truth of what truly happened to me.
“Rory, are you in the bathroom?” Heather’s voice sounds from somewhere far away.
“Yeah,” I holler. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
I take one last look at my ghastly reflection and walk out of the bathroom.
“There you are,” she says, staring up at me. “This just came for you.”
I glance at the small rectangular package in her hand. “This must be the phone I ordered,” I say, taking it from her. “Thanks for bringing it up for me.”
“Gods, Rory,” she says, continuing to stare at me. “You look awful. Have you been starving yourself to get over that jackass boyfriend of yours?”
A hollow chuckle escapes me. “Thanks for the compliment. You look real fetching yourself.”
A frown twists her mouth. “This is not funny!” she snaps, slapping my arm. “You’ve been harming yourself!”
“Oww!” I gasp, rubbing the sore spot. “I’mnotharming myself. I just got a little too focused on my diet.”
“Come down and eat some food,” she commands. “I’ll make you a ham sandwich and there’s still a bit of leftover lasagna from last night. There’ll be no more diets from here onward. Do you understand?”
“It hasn’t even been two hours since I ate lunch,” I say, rolling my eyes.
