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She shrugged. "It was stupid of me to think anyone could genuinely like me. I'm never anyone's first choice. But I thought he was the one, and now I'm just alone."
Inwardly, I chuckled at how young and old she sounded at the same time. And that was the thing about love and heartbreaks—when they hurt, they just did.
You didn't need age to feel the pain or embarrassment or tidal wave of emotions.
That was a permanent fixture that followed in the wake of every failed relationship, whether at the gate to thirteen or thirty.
When I had my first break up, I probably felt the way Adele did when she wroteSet Fire to the Rain. It did burn.
Not a gastric kind of burn, more like someone had taken my heart and decided to light it up to see the quality of the ashes he could create.
"I remember my first breakup," I said to Leia. "And I remember it feeling like someone had sliced my heart open and decided to take every part of it except the part that hurt."
Her eyes softened with acknowledgment. "That's just how it feels. I'm glad I'm not the only one."
I smiled. "You're not, darling. You're brave and young. But tell me, are you planning to get back with this little jerk? What's going on in your mind?"
Her face contorted into a ferocious frown, her eyebrows knitting together and her lips pressing tightly. "Hell, no."
I resisted the urge to reach out and pull her into a mama bear hug. Instead, I gave her the respect her reply demanded. "I can't tell you how proud I am of you. You're choosing to do the right thing by making room in your life for someone who's actually worthy."
"It's just ... I'm so angry at him," she said slowly. "Like, I get that you're not happy with something, but how do you think relationships work? Are you really getting into them thinking you'll get everything you want?"
I had to give it to Leia. So young, and she really had the basics down. Her mind was precious.
"Men are assholes, darling. The vast majority of them, at any rate. And they don't see things unless you poke them in the eye sometimes. I was a freshman when I broke up. Got dumped for the cheerleading captain, more accurately."
"Oh," she replied, an angry glimmer in her eyes. "The nerve of him!"
"But you know what I did?" I continued. "I'm not too proud of it. Okay, correction. I am. I pretended like I was totally cool with the whole thing and okay with being friends."
"Seriously?" she asked, her tone dubious. "How did you tolerate being around that jerk?"
"Well," I replied, chuckling, "he used to get his haircuts from me. And soon enough, the time came when he needed a new one."
Leia leaned forward, curious. "What did you do, Juniper?"
"I gave him a snip to remember," I said with a mischievous grin.
"What do you mean?" she asked with wide eyes.
"Well, I told him I'd clean up the base with a razor before styling him. I was pretty good at it—used to do it for half the school. Instead, I used the razor to shave a big L on the back of his head this time."
Leia burst out laughing. With joyous abandon, it filled the whole room like the tinkling of a thousand bells, each note clear and pure. People turned to look at our table, and some actually smiled at how happy she looked. I was glad to have played my part.
"How did he figure it out?"
"Oh, he did that the second he got home and his dad gave him a talking-to. I got a pretty angry call that night, but I'd say it was well worth it."
Leia wiped tears from her eyes. "You're the coolest, Junie. Thanks for cheering me up."
It was the first time she'd ever called me Junie. I hoped this would stick around. It sounded sweet, coming from her. I took a deep breath and reached out to hold her hand.
"You know what. I'll be brutally honest here. This won't be the last time someone comes along, earns your trust, and then tries to hurt you, Leia. But each time it happens, I want you to remember who you are, okay? You've got what it takes to give ‘em hell if they're askin' for it."
She dipped her chin in agreement. "The pain goes away, right?"
My lungs sucked in a sharp gulp of air before I could muster a reply. "It does, not because people stop sucking but because you become more awesome. This might feel like the end of the world right now, but I promise you it's not.
