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I turned around like whiplash. "You know what hurts the most, Reed?" I asked, the tears I'd held back for so long now falling free. "I'd kept my heart safe forever before the three of you. And sitting there with you guys that night—when I told you about Hunter—I also told you how I felt about being made a fool of.
“You heard me. You saw what it had done to me. And even then, you said nothing. Not even the next morning, when we ..."
I couldn't any longer.
And it wasn't just because I needed to go in and break down.
I rushed through the front door and slammed it in their faces.
I didn't stop until I'd reached my bathroom, and there, head down in the toilet, I hurled and hurled until my stomach ached with an emptiness that felt most unusual.
I never threw up. It just wasn't me.
Not like I was bragging about anything—I was just one of those people with an iron stomach.And then, a thought struck me, sure as the raw pain in my heart.
I wasalsonever late. Until now. Five days, to be exact.
Fucking hell in a shithole.
35
Reed
"Ican't sit around here and do nothing," Paladin repeated for the tenth time in the last five minutes.
He was pacing around the apartment like a wild animal. I hadn't seen him look this torn in a long, long while.
It was an exact mirror of my internal state. Until this very moment, I had just gone by. I had a formal diagnosis that I did not like to spell out. I had a kid who hated me more with each passing day.
And all of it was suddenly more bearable because of Juniper.
Until my royal fuckup. I looked at the coal-tinted clouds building in the sky outside. But the hurricane wasn't scheduled to hit until a few days later. We had time.
I didn't even blame the boys. If I had told them to stay away from her—at least until we knew for sure that she was innocent—they would have done that.
"This is all my fault," I said, my voice hushed with grief. "I should have never gotten us this involved. Whatever she said about us using her, she wasn't wrong."
"It wasn't your fault any more than ours," Miguel replied hoarsely. "I can't believe I told her that shit about my being ready to send her to the gallows while we were... Reed, all three of us fucked up."
My phone beeped once more. This was the third message from Hunter Montgomery.
Each new thing he sent me made me want to find him and rip his limbs off. But I didn't want to rush it. I wanted his end to come slowly and painfully.
By instinct, my gaze hovered over the new message.
Why are there no updates on the case, detectives? I thought you'd do better as ex-SEALs. I must say, nothing deceives like a woman's cunt. She blinded you to the obvious.
Blood rushed into my ears. I replied immediately, and this time, I wasn't thinking straight.
Tell me where you are so I can show you what I do with cunts, motherfucker.
I shouldn't have said that. I regretted sending the message as soon as I did it.
His reply told me he was onto us—onto what we knew.
It seems you merit a conversation. Just to clear up any misunderstandings, of course. Here are my coordinates. I'll keep the coffee warm, puppies.
Something inside me told me to stop and think about what I was rushing to do. It wouldn't end well.
