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“There’s no audience anymore, Beth,” he said. “You don’t have to think about what part you’re playing now. You’re not wearing a halo for your mother, or pretending to be the bad girl with me. You get to choose. Who are you when the cameras aren’t rolling?”
Axel paused and his voice dropped lower.
“Will you still love me if no one is looking?”
I opened my mouth to speak only to realize I didn’t have an answer. Of course I loved Axel. But I had no idea who I was or what I wanted.
Disappointment darkened Axel’s eyes at my prolonged silence. He squared his shoulders and gestured to his bike parked a few feet away.
“We should head back.”
Chapter Twelve
Axel
I could kick myself for being an insensitive idiot.
Beth and I returned to my apartment, silent as the grave. Neither of us spoke a word and the tension lingering in the air was torture. Guilt gnawed at my stomach. I sighed.
“I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
Beth shook her head, already moving toward the bedroom without looking at me.
“No, you’re right.”
I winced at the flatness of her tone. I didn’t want to be right. When Beth disappeared into my bedroom, I remained rooted to the spot just inside my apartment, as if my boots were made of concrete.
“Fuck,” I hissed under my breath. Then I was on the move, striding toward the bedroom with a knot in my stomach the size of my fist. “Beth, honey—”
I broke off when I reached the bedroom’s threshold. She was grabbing her clothes off the floor and stuffing them into her suitcase, locking it shut.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, my heart in my throat.
“I’m leaving,” Beth replied evenly. “I think that’s best for both of us.”
Heat prickled the back of my neck. I scrubbed my hands over my face to compose myself. I had known right from the start this would be a complicated time for Beth to navigate. She needed support and patience.
“That’s not necessary, sweetheart,” I said.
When I reached to touch Beth’s elbow, she shied away.
“Stop,” she whispered. “Please. I just…”
Shaking her head, she swiped at her eyes. My heart ached to see Beth holding back tears like this, keeping me at a distance. She didn’t deserve to feel alone in the world, not after everything she’d been through. Haltingly, she brought her hand up and placed it against my chest.
“You did everything I asked of you and more. Our agreement is finished.”
I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut. Why did I have to bring up that stupid agreement? Why did I have to remind her that none of it was supposed to be real to begin with?
As Beth turned away, taking her suitcase with her, desperation grew thick in my throat.
“Forget the goddamn agreement, Beth. I love you and you know that.”
She stopped with her back facing me.
“Which one?”
I frowned, confused.
