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I startled at the sound of Axel’s voice, squinting in the bright glare that cast his lean, muscled body in silhouette against the pale blue sky. My heart ached at the sight of him—his weight resting back on his heels, hands in his pockets, long legs, broad shoulders, and biceps straining at the sleeves of his t-shirt. As he stepped under the shade of the trees to join me, he removed his sunglasses, tucking them into the collar of his shirt.
I rose to my feet. “How did you find me?”
Axel winced and scrubbed at the back of his neck.
“It’s probably better if you don’t ask that question.”
I raised my eyebrows and waited. He sighed.
“Diablo sent me your location after I asked him to track your phone.”
I glanced at my phone as if it had intentionally betrayed me. And I knew, in the back of my mind, that I should be angry at this breach of privacy but…I wasn’t.
Isn’t that why I’d stopped at the gardens in the first place? I didn’t want to leave things unsettled with Axel the way they were.
“Better not make it a habit,” I replied, although there was no heat to the warning. He wouldn’t abuse his power; he’d already proven that.
Axel shook his head.
“I won’t. I swear. I just…”
He retrieved his phone and passed it to me. His lock screen was a picture of us on our first date at the diner. My breath caught in my throat at the memory of how good it felt to be with Axel that day. Flirting with each other, the weight of his hands on my body, the warmth of his lips and his tongue and his breath on my skin.
Axel stepped closer until he towered over me and so gently, so tenderly, cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs smoothing over my cheeks.
“I just needed you to know that you have a home here. With me. Always. If you want it.”
Speechless, I gazed up at him. He didn’t demand an apology or forbid me from leaving. He didn’t try to convince me to stay either. I was free to go. And I could return whenever I was ready to.
Closing my eyes, I soaked in the feel of his touch.
“I don’t know who I am, Axel,” I whispered.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he whispered back. “You’ll figure it out.”
Slowly, I opened my eyes to look at him. My heartachedwith how much I loved him.
“I think I need to be on my own for a little while in order to do that,” I said.
Axel’s gaze flickered and a shadow of disappointment crossed his face, but he quickly tucked it away with a nod. I hated the thought of being separated from him, but I dreaded losing myself again the way I’d lost myself in my mother, and Lionel, and my online presence.
I didn’t want to be known simply as Axel’s future wife.
I wanted to be Beth, the woman Axel loved.
After handing his phone back, I took his wrist, guiding him to the bench where I’d been sitting before.
“When I left your apartment,” I continued. “I came across a van for sale. And there was this…moment of clarity.”
I gestured toward the parking lot where the van was parked, barely visible through the garden’s arched entrance. It was a big old beast, painted robin’s egg blue, with sunshine-yellow checkerboard curtains on the back windows.
“I decided to go on a road trip. And I’ll document my journey along the way through pictures.Mypictures. Not anyone else’s.”
I showed him the photos on my phone that I’d already taken—the garden, the sparrows, a selfie of me in the driver’s seat of the van, with the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, and a big smile as I grasped the steering wheel, eager for the adventures that waited for me out there.
“I won’t be on social media for a while,” I added. “I’m going to use journals and scrapbooks and photo albums instead.”
Axel shifted his gaze up toward me, his gray eyes studying my face. He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear, trailing his thumb along my jawline.
