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That was where he was taking the conversation?
“Yes.” I wasn’t going to hide that. “I couldn’t decide if cursing in front of you was bad, and what about all the things Austin was saying? I don’t know the rules. What if I’d been a bad Daddy before I’d even gotten started?”
Looking down, he slowly peered over at me through his lashes. “I thought you were funny and…and I wouldn’t have been upset even when I waslittlelittle if you’d said something…something very grown-up. You…you were funny.”
Since that seemed to be a good thing, I let go of some of the worries I’d been carrying around. “But you’ll tell me if I do something that you don’t like? Not like pushing your limits, because I think that’s obvious and I’m really going to try not to do that, but things like saying the wrong thing when you’re in your little headspace?”
The way his lip immediately got sucked in between his teeth said he wasn’t ready to agree with that idea just yet.
“My exposure to BDSM has been on the more traditional Dom and sub side, but it always felt like something was missing. I like what I’ve seen so far when it comes to the Daddy side of things but I’m not going to have all the answers.” As much as I wanted to, that wasn’t reasonable yet.
Admitting that I didn’t have all the answers was painfully frustrating, though. “If I do something that makes you uncomfortable or just pushes you out of your little headspace, I would really appreciate it if you’d tell me. Or at least tell Austin and tell him to tell me.”
That got a chuckle. “Like playing telephone when we were kids?”
“Yes, he’s very good at telling people what to do, so I know he’d be an amazing telephone for us.” Just a very sparkly, dramatic one.
“I’ll try?” Sitting straighter, he licked his lips. “I don’t want you to worry that you’re doing things wrong, so if…so if I can’t tell you, I’ll tell Austin. Promise.”
“Thank you.” Squeezing his hand, I loved the longing glance he gave my touch without even seeming to realize it. “I want to learn what makes you happy, in and out of little time, and I want to know what turns you on.”
And the blush was back.
He squirmed for a moment, studying our hands and working his way up to something before he finally got the words out. “What…what if you don’t…what if we’re not compatible on that side of things?”
Had that many alphas really not been able to switch their fucking brains between little time and naughty time?
It wasn’t rocket science.
Little—cute and innocent and giggly.
Big—cute and not-so-innocent and giggly.
“First, Austin would not have let me anywhere near you if he thought I wouldn’t understand that side of you.” Understatement of the year right there but I wasn’t going to dwell on that because it seemed like it was my turn to open up. “Second, I’ve struggled to find omegas that aren’t overwhelmed by my size or just turned off by it in general.”
Charlie’s head cocked in obvious confusion and it seemed that some of his nervousness faded as he thought about what I was saying.
“The stereotype of the big, dumb, aggressive alpha is still alive and well. Even subs who are looking for a Dom sometimes shy away from bigger alphas.” Not that they seemed to realize it. “The club is better about it than other places I’ve interacted with people socially, but it still pops up. So I’m very glad that you appreciate my size.”
Shifting, he took a breath and seemed much more confident as he focused on me, not his own worries. “I like how you look.”
His cheeks were pink and he was still wiggling but he found the nerve to keep going. “I…I like our size difference too. You’re…you were nice to cuddle with and I liked how you could hold me.”
Brave boy.
“Thank you for telling me, sweet boy.” I kept up the gentle caress to his hand as I inched us deeper into the conversation, hoping I wasn’t going too fast for him. “But you don’t have to downplay your desire either, sweetie.”
He might’ve only been being polite because we were in public, but I didn’t think that was why he was being so careful. “If your love of big, strong alphas goes into kink territory and you just want to climb me and use me to hump against and get off, we can work on that fantasy. I know it’s hard to accept but I don’t want you to be worried about what you tell me. Nothing Austin even hinted at was unappealing.”
I knew I was going to end up saying that again and again. Chasing the demons out took time, but there was nothing wrong with any of his fantasies.
“Even if you want something that’s not erotic to me, we can talk about it and find a compromise. There are no wrong desires, sweetie.” And Austin would’ve at least given me a heads-up if there was something I should’ve immediately asked questions about.
Charlie licked his lips, looking hopeful but still nervous. “I…I’ll remember that.”
He’d try but I wasn’t sure it’d stick just yet.
“Okay, the big things I know about right off the bat…diapers, muscle worship, maybe knot worship, spankings, probably calling you things like a naughty slut while you beg and squirm on my lap. I bet you have some naughty heat fantasies too.” That seemed to hit the highlights based on what they’d hinted at and what I thought might make him feel the dirtiest.
