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“I’m falling for him, and I can’t seem to stop it from happening.” I turned to face her, tucking my heel under my butt.
“So he’s more than a baby daddy.”
“I wish.” I sighed. “I mean, he’ll make a great father, and I know he’ll respect whatever rules I lay down about parental rights, but what if . . .?”
“What if you want more?” She rubbed my arms. “It’s okay to fall in love. He’s a wonderful guy.”
“I’m moving in with him later today. Tonight . . .”
“You said he told you he’ll wait until you’re ready.”
“Oh, I’m ready,” I said. More than ready. I craved him like no one else before. “What if he isn’t?”
“I’m sure he’s ready too,” she quipped, her smile quickly smoothing, though her eyes continued to sparkle. “Are you sure he doesn’t want you just as much, and I don’t mean for sex?”
“I haven’t asked him. How can I?”
“After what happened the other day?”
I’d shared some of what went on inside his bedroom, skimming over it. She knew we’d done a few things, but I didn’t tell her everything.
“Do you think it was a heat of the moment thing for him?” I asked. No, Ipleaded. I needed her to tell me it was going to work out, that he’d fall for me, and when we had a baby, we’d raise it together.
“Tylik’s a hot elf. He’s pretty much aristocracy. He can have any woman he wants.”
My lips twisted. “This isn’t making me feel better.”
She gave me a soft smile. “He choseyou.”
“I proposed to him.”
“He could’ve turned you down. Look at how I see it. He was at a ball. Women were throwing themselves at him.”
“Definitely not helping!”
“You know what I mean. If he didn’t want to be with you—you, not any of the other women there that night—he would’ve politely turned you down.”
“I gave him an easy solution to his problem.”
“And now you regret it?”
“No, I can’t,” I said. “If I hadn’t proposed, would he have seen me?”
“You forget what a nice person you are, how your goodness shines through. Everyone sees it but you.”
“I can’t see myself.”
“Then look in a mirror.” Rising, she dragged me off the bed and over to the oval mirror hanging on the wall, turning me to face it. “Take a good look.”
“I’ve seen myself a billion times.” I didn’t have time for this. We had to get to the store. I had an appointment. I still had more packing to do, though most of my things were still in boxes after moving here.
She reached up and held my chin still. “I don’t think you’ve ever seen yourself like I do.”
I pinched my eyes shut before opening them to look in the mirror. Same red hair—my best feature. Blue eyes. Pointy chin with a tiny dimple. Not too much double chin, though I didn’t lower my jaw or turn sideways to test it. Nice eyebrows, but I’d plucked them—
“You’re only seeing your physical appearance,” Seyla said. “Stare into your eyes and look past the color.”
I didn’t like doing that because . . . “I see loneliness.”
