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“It’s okay, Gaian. I’ve been stuck here in the mountains for decades. I might not be sure how much magic I have left, but I know it’s enough to make your friend into a Paragon, like me, so the lineage of the greatest species around will continue forever, if I decide to do so.”
He stared off into the white blanket of snow that stretched for miles ahead of us, as if he had just made a grand speech and everyone was cheering for him. But he hadn’t answered my question. But honestly, I wasn’t sure any of us wanted to know the secrets he held.
86
the first meeting
sina
In my bedroom,I lay next to Calder with my head on his shoulder and my leg draped over both of his. I wrapped my arms tightly around his torso, not that he could actually feel it, but it comforted me.
I didn’t know how long it’d been since I had last seen that asshole who had raised me. Since I let him take the baby. SinceIlet the babydie. I hadn’t been keeping track of the days. I didn’t even know what time it was. Day seemed like night, and night day.
If it wasn’t for Darius, neither Calder nor I would have eaten anything. Hellana had even forgiven me—though if I were her, I wouldn’t have—and come over to help us out with Calder too. I should’ve been the one helping her out—she needed it more than I did—but I couldn’t seem to get over the terror I felt inside me.
After closing my eyes and seeing the man who had abused me daily, I reopened them and stared up at the bland ceiling again. Every night, I had nightmares of him. Every night, I dreamed that he would come back and find me, paralyze me, and rape me again and again and again.
I didn’t want that to happen. I couldn’t let it happen. I was finally somewhat happy with my guys. That was all I’d ever wanted. I didn’t wanna be a Paragon. I didn’t want to save the world. I just wanted to be happy.
But with him still alive, I would never be truly happy. Nobody would know happiness ever again. He was torturing innocent people, making them his slaves, and ripping their lives away from them.
“Are you okay?” Calder whispered.
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I continued to stare up at the bland ceiling like I had been for who knew how long and pressed my trembling lips together to stop myself from crying.
“Sina …”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly and hoped that he would just drop it. “I don’t know how I feel. Part of me doesn’t want to feel anything. I just want this all to be over. I don’t know how much longer I can endure this torture, knowing that he keeps stealing Paragon babies.”
A long silence fell over the room, and then, finally, Darius sighed from the corner. “I want this all to be over too,” he said, sitting in a chair and staring out the window with a book in his hand. Moonlight bounced off his wolfish eyes.
“What are you reading about?” I asked, sitting up slightly.
Darius held the book up so I could see the cover—Paragons: The Myth.
My heart swelled at the thought of Darius reading up on what I was. Thayer knew a lot about me and my kind, but the other guys didn’t. I didn’t know what to say. He was doing more research on me than I was.
He gave me a heartwarming smile. “Somebody’s gotta help figure you out.”
I let out a low, empty laugh, Calder following.
Another chuckle bubbled in my stomach, but I held myself together. I didn’t laugh again because I didn’t want to feel happy. I was a fucking paradox. I did, and I didn’t. There was nothing to feel happy about, but something deep inside me, something about being with my mates, made me feel just a bit giddy.
My life had been a fucking mess lately.
Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen Gaian and Thayer in a while too.
Just as I thought I was feeling a bit better, the front door shook, as if somebody was trying to break into the house. All three of us looked at each other, and Darius stood. All hope of a happier life left my body because I wasn’t ready. If this was my father—no, my abuser—then I couldn’t fight him like this. I couldn’t. I would try my hardest to stand for my people, but he would kill me or take me away from my newfound family.
Darius walked to the bedroom door. “Stay here. I’ll see what’s up.”
I didn’t know why, but I stood. “No, I’m coming with you.”
I wouldn’t let Darius die because of me. He didn’t deserve it. He was the sweetest person I had ever met. None of my mates deserved this.
“Sina,” Calder growled, glancing over at me.
“Sina, please,” Darius pleaded. “Let me do this myself.”
