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“What do you mean, anymore?” I asked, pushing it.
At first, for a split second, I thought she was just referring to him taking her away from us, but I could tell that there was more to it, more that she was hiding from us, more that she didn’t want to tell a single soul.
“It’s nothing,” she said again, standing up and looking down at me. Her gaze was ice fucking cold, and her jaw was clenched hard, but her eyes wavered for just a moment, telling me something more. “It’s nothing I want to think about now. I just want to know if any of you really care about me.”
15
the sixteenth entry
sina
I satin the living room, angrily staring at the blank wall with my hands balled into tight fists by my sides. There was no point in even staying in my bedroom. The guys had made it crystal clear that I obviously had no privacy at all.
When they had taken me home the other night, I should’ve left then. I had been told over and over that wolves were easily jealous and controlling creatures, especially alphas. They wanted to have things their way all the damn time.
And I was having none of it.
With them being gone—even if it was just shit-talking by a fire outside—I wanted to leave. Maybe not for good, but I did want to sneak out again. I didn’t want to be cooped up in this house without any friends and with them lurking over me twenty-four/seven.
Just as I was about to stand up from the couch, storm up the stairs, and throw on some slutty clothes to wear to the pub, someone slapped their hand over my mouth and lifted me off the couch.
“Get off me!” I screamed into the palm, kicking and shoving whoever it was back.
Three more men dressed in ski masks and dark clothes—almost the same fantasy as last time, but different—flooded into the room, each trying to stop me from struggling. This was almost exactly like …
Entry #16: Intruder Rape Fantasy.
“Shut her the fuck up,” someone to my left growled, tossing a roll of duct tape to the man in front of me.
The guy ripped off a piece of tape and slapped it over my mouth so I couldn’t speak, then grabbed my wrists and taped them together behind my back while I struggled to push him away, but he didn’t stop. He taped them so tightly that I couldn’t wiggle out of it. My breasts bounced inside my tank top when I attempted to escape.
“If you need to stop,” he said to me, his lips against my ear and his hand flattening the tape on my mouth, “ball your hand into a fist and release it twice.”
I knocked my shoulder into him to push him away. Just as I did, someone new tightly wrapped their hand around my throat and pulled me back toward him so my body was flush against his chest. After sliding his hand up to my chin and shoving it to the side, he pressed the sharp edge of a knife against my artery in my neck.
I inhaled sharply but didn’t move, for fear that if I did, the blade would slide into my flesh and kill me. My body went rigid against the masked man behind me, warmth gathering in the pit of my stomach.
All I needed was my safe word for them to stop.
Yet, still, I refused because I couldn’t stop thinking about what Thayer had told me earlier about Calder wanting to breed me so badly and how Calder had reacted when I confronted him about it. I wanted to fight them, especially Calder, with all my might. I had so much built-up anger because of him, just from these past few days.
When the man slid the knife down my throat, I pressed my thighs together and leaned back into him, wanting the knife as far away from me as possible. He chuckled darkly into my ear, the sound voice low and feral, like a predator. Then, he cut through the neckline of my tank top, gliding the blade through the shirt and between my cleavage until my breasts completely fell out of the top.
One of the other masked men let out a ferocious growl, and I lifted my gaze to stare at Gaian. Once the knife split my tank top in half, Gaian reached forward and ripped the rest of it off my body, so my upper half was completely exposed to them.
“I can smell your cunt, Pretty Bird,” Thayer growled into my ear.
He glided his knife up the center of my chest again and to the CP on the exposed part of my chest, which he had carved with his claws yesterday. The scar hadn’t healed completely, but then again, the original mark hadn’t been deep, just a mere scrape. With the tip of the knife, he grazed it against the letters without sinking it into me.
After sucking in another sharp breath, my breasts bouncing slightly, I pressed my thighs together harder to ease the pulsing between them. The pressure rose in my core quickly. I loved the feeling of being helpless in their arms.
Psycho Thayer had complete and utter control of my life right now.
If he wanted to end me, all he had to do was sink the knife into my heart, rip me to pieces with his claws, and bury me in the backyard. While the thought might’ve scared anyone else away, I loved the rush.
Because I knew Thayer would never do that to me.
Just when I thought I’d make it out of this without a scrape, he sank the tip into the top of theCand smirked against my flesh. “Every time you run away from us, I’ll carve these initials into your body. One day, you’ll remember who you belong to, Pretty Bird.” He continued to carve the letters, as he had promised, then twirled me around so I faced him, his knife pressed tightly against the bottom of my chin.
