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About twenty minutesafter Sina disappeared into Calder’s room with him, I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes to get some rest for the first time all night. Last night might’ve gone as planned in the beginning, but it had quickly taken a dive into something much worse.
None of us knew what Sina really was.
And I was terrified that we wouldn’t be able to protect her. That this time, she would be the one protecting us. She didn’t know what she was capable of, and she couldn’t even control herself or that inner demon she had—whatever it was.
A light knock came on my door, followed by Sina’s sweet scent. “Gaian?”
I sat up to lean against the headboard and squinted my eyes in her direction as the sunlight flooded into the room through the open windows. “What’s up, Pretty Bird?”
She shuffled into the room and shut the door behind her. “Can I stay with you for a bit?”
After I pushed over to give her some of the bed, she crawled in with me and snuggled close to me underneath the blankets. Four years ago, whenever we had sleepovers, she’d do the same thing. And, Goddess, I’d missed it.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered, noticing her bloodshot eyes. She had been crying.
“Nothing.”
Once I tucked some hair behind her ear, she closed her eyes and relaxed in my arms. All night, she had been twisting and turning in Calder’s bedroom. We had all been downstairs and heard it. It was like she had been having a nightmare.
“Thayer seemed angry before he left,” she said, voice barely above a whisper. “Do you think he … he … blames me for what happened? I mean, I would too, but I don’t want him to hate me. I feel so terrible about his scar.”
“He doesn’t hate you, Sina,” I murmured, sinking down deeper in the bed and curling my fingers around her hip. “And if he wanted to, he could have healed the scar you left on his face by now.”
Her brows furrowed. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“He healed yours.” I glanced down at her chest, where he had carved the initialsCPfor Crispen Pack on one of the first nights we all spent together.
He had been so ruthless with her because he knew she could take it. Hours later, he had felt bad and healed her wound, almost to the point where it completely disappeared.Almost.
She brushed her fingers across her chest too, as if she remembered, and sucked in a sharp breath. “He-he healed me. I don’t remember it, but he did, didn’t he? Why hasn’t he healed his own scars then? All of them on his skin?”
“Because he got those while looking for you,” I said, moving my fingers in circles around her hip to keep calm. “Calder and Thayer were both so fucked up the night of your eighteenth birthday that Thayer refused to heal himself. He took so much physical pain from our enemies because he thought he deserved it for losing you.”
Sina pressed her lips together, furrowed her brows, and let out a small whimper. “Why would he do that? Why would he blame himself?” she asked, but I knew she was the one who blamed herself for everything that had happened to her.
“Because he loves you.”
“Do you think you all will ever be able to forgive me?”
“You haven’t done anything,” I reassured. “What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“But I lost control.”
“We’ll teach you how to control yourself then.”
“How? Nobody knows what I am. I don’t even know the extent of it.”
“What do you know?”
She paused for a long time, her body suddenly tensing. When she opened her mouth, no words came out, and she snapped her lips closed once more. “I-I know that I didn’t like the vampire, that I … that he seemed so familiar to me. Something—someone—told me to kill him.”
“Someone?” I asked. “Who? Your inner wolf maybe?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I … I don’t know who it was, but it wasn’t part of me physically. At least, I don’t think so. All I remember was thinking of how that woman was going to go through torture, how her baby would grow up in pain, like me, and how she reminded me of … of … my mom.”
Suddenly, Sina became quiet again. She swallowed hard and inched closer to me, resting her head on the center of my chest and squirming. Instead of saying much else, she continued to repeat the wordmomover and over.
“What else do you remember?” I urged, running my fingers into her messy hair and gently scratching her head to calm her. She was working herself up again, her breaths becoming shorter and raspier. “Anything about your father?”
