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“The pain helps me know what’s real,” I whisper. Realizing how that sounds, I shake my head. “Please, don’t send me back there, Jacob. I can only see what they did to me at Hidden Hills in my dreams, but I know it was bad. Please…”
“Chas, you’re killing me,” Jacob groans, pulling his hair as if my words are hurting him.
“Try living through it,” I mutter.
Blowing out a breath, Jacob looks over his shoulder. “Otto, come meet my sister, who I’ve traumatized,” he says.
I make a face, forcing myself to look blandly at him when he turns back to me. I’m starting to feel a little ridiculous, but I was thrown into a really bad place when he yelled at me. If I didn’t have such an awful experience with mental health, I’d consider speaking to someone about it.
The reality is, who would believe me?
My life is a shit show. My body is starting to hurt, and I know I’m going to regret my decision to wean myself from the pain medication.
“Why are we on the ground?” Otto asks as he looks down at us.
I shrug sullenly, my face on fire.
“I managed to scare my little sister when I yelled,” Jacob says, staring at me. I shift uncomfortably, rubbing my side.
“Chas, did you break your ribs?” he asks gently, and I shake my head.
“I have bruises everywhere, but nothing is broken,” I murmur, shifting my gaze to the ground. I shouldn’t have panicked the way I did, but I really don’t feel safe here.
“You shouldn’t be on the ground then if you’re in pain,” Otto says softly, crouching next to me.
I nod, shrugging, tears beginning to slide down my cheeks again. He doesn’t even know me. I don’t understand why he’d be kind to me. God, am I really going to worry about people’s intentions for the rest of my life?
“I really won’t tell anyone anything,” I murmur, glancing back up at them. Waving my hand between them, I struggle to get my words out. “Whatever this is, it's none of my business. I’m really good at keeping secrets. I just need to call Levi to come get me.”
“I thought you were staying with us for the week?” Otto asks, and I shrug weakly.
“I don’t really know if that’s such a good idea,” I tell them. “I haven’t had a nightmare yet, but I could. I freak out at the drop of a hat, and have panic attacks…”
“Jacob is great in a crisis… uh, usually,” Otto says, and I bark out a laugh.
“I don’t think he can handle my kind of crazy,” I tell him, shaking my head.
“Chastity, you are not crazy,” Jacob barks, causing me to flinch. He closes his eyes, and it’s the look of someone asking for strength.
“I don’t want to be a problem. I’ll be married at the end of the week, and I won’t be your problem anymore—”
“Chastity, you’re not a problem,” my brother insists, his hazel eyes flashing in frustration as he opens them.
Sighing, I throw up my hands. “I am, though. Grandmother tells me I cause problems wherever I go,” I snark, and he rolls his eyes.
“I humor her, but the old bag is half-crazy,” Jacob reveals. “She doesn’t remember half the things she should, because if she did, she’d remember how damn sweet you are. Chas, you’re too good for this world, but that doesn’t mean you’re a problem. You scared the hell out of me when you phoned me, so I called the only people I knew who would be close enough to help. I don’t know what’s going on between you and Levi, and I’ll butt out if you tell me to, but he’s so much older than you.”
I snort, my sass finding me again now that I know he’s not going to hurt me. “Levi is your age, isn’t he?” I laugh. “There are a lot of wonderful qualities to him, none of which I’m discussing with you. I’m not asking about what I saw in the living room, am I?”
“You can if you want to,” Otto confesses, shrugging at Jacob’s incredulous look. “Your sister isn’t going to say anything. Stop freaking out. I’m Jacob’s roommate, but he’s also my boyfriend. Your brother and I have been together for three years, and we also work together. We aren’t out publicly because it could affect Jacob’s job, and people are bigoted.”
Remembering my time with Tempest and how Grandmother reacted, I nod. “People think only certain types of relationships are acceptable. I’m well aware of the standard. Grandmother, well let’s just say I had a pretty terrible run-in about this with her,” I explain.
“That was more than I needed to know,” Jacob groans.
“You’re the one looking for more than I said,” I snicker. “If you’re involved with Levi, I don’t know how much you know about what happens at Holy Cross…”
Jacob stares at me, as his jaw clenches. He’s going to grind his teeth to dust if he continues to do that. “I will tell you a secret if you tell me one of yours,” he promises, looking grim.
