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A panicked Ryder runs up the staircase. “What’s wrong?”
“Show me now.” I don’t even have to tell him exactly what I want to see before his eyes roll, dismissing my fury. “Go back to bed, Morgan. It’s too fucking early to start this already.”
Yeah. I’d still be sleeping if I could be. “I mean it, Ryder. I’m not going to ask again.”
“What’s going on?” Neil timidly questions as he approaches.
Cade comes up behind me. “Just drop it, Morgan. It’s for your own good.”
I look over my shoulder. “Fuck off, Crawford. This doesn’t have a goddamn thing to do with you.”
“It has to do with all of us.”
Cade’s words cause an instinctive reaction. I spin to face him, shove my palms against his chest, and say, “Really? Because I didn’t see you on the floor beside me when I was getting kicked in the fucking face and told how I was about to be raped and murdered.”
“I’m sorry—”
I don’t need his apology or anything from him. I didn’t need him next to me on that fucking ground to survive then. And I don’t need him next to me in bed now.
Turning my concentration back to Ryder, I step in front of him, keeping my voice as controlled as possible. “If you don’t let me see it, I’m telling Harrison everything.”
It’s a bitch move. But I’m a desperate bitch.
A wave of sheer panic morphs over Ryder’s face. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.” I smirk.
He keeps a nervous watch on me and, to my utter shock, responds, “No. There’s no way you’d do that to me. You know what he means to me. You wouldn’t hurt me like that. I’m trying to keep you from doing something reckless and hurting yourself. Again.”
Motherfucking Cade. Of course he informed Ryder of my dip in the swimming pool. Not surprising. But I’m getting sick of these two teaming up against me.
“Oh, you think so.” I laugh and grab my phone, then start clicking on the glass screen. I saved Harrison’s contact when Ryder messaged me from his phone. And I know the dude should be up because he has some golf tournament he’s traveling out of state to this weekend. But he’s still only a phone call away.
I see the apprehension in Ryder’s posture, the alarm in his eyes. But he doesn’t make a move to stop me. My fingers slow, and with each passing second, it becomes harder to press the screen than the last.
Why isn’t he stopping me?
I need him to stop me and give me what I want. Because he’s right. I can’t hurt him like that.
When I look up at him, all my anger surges out of me. I bring my arm up, thoughtlessly, and throw my phone, missing his head by inches. “I fucking hate you.”
He doesn’t say anything, just keeps a frightened gape on me because he knows he’s the only person on this planet Idon’thate. And that makes me weak in this moment. He holds all the power because I won’t betray him or ruin what matters so deeply to him. And my brother loves me. So he won’t back down because he thinks he’s helping me. But he’s not. And I can’t tell him why I need to see the recording. Because then I’d have to admit it to him and to myself—that night did more damage than I care to admit.
16
CADE
“This time is different,” Ryder whispers, glancing over his shoulder towards the staircase.
He has a valid point. She’s always irrational and insufferable, but there’s something different about her. It was nice to see that she actually cares about someone and wouldn’t hurt her brother. But it seems to have sent her into an even deeper spiral. And not an out of control one. The opposite. She’s been solemn. Quiet. Has kept to herself, not speaking a word while we made the drive to her house. Then she’d gone straight upstairs to get in the shower.
That was hours ago.
And neither her brother nor I have been brave enough to check in on her.
“Maybe after she cools off, we can talk some sense into her.” Then I say the thing that’s been running through my mind all morning. “Should we just let her see it? I get that you don’t want her to relive it, but I think she’s suffering with the memories and it’s only getting worse as time passes.”
“I should’ve never said anything.” Ryder glances around. “Or even have it to start with. But I needed an insurance plan just in case. There’s still a chance Ava could turn on us if some other dumbass doesn’t do it first.” He points in the direction where his dad has been all morning.
