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After she left, I took a shower, dressed in old comfy sweats, and headed to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine before curling up in bed again.
I grabbed my camera from the nightstand and began moving through the photos I had captured of Jaasir. Knowing his true identity allowed me to really see him this time. His build was identical.
The markings on his skin from a thoughtful selections of black and gray lines and well placed shading confirmed the man I’d photographed and the man I had seen in video clips on Val’s phone were indeed one and the same.
The most profound resemblance, the one I couldn’t ignore where those lips. ?full of temptation and addiction. I subconsciously lifted my hand brushing my fingers over mine .
They tingled with a taunting longing of the sinful pleasure those lips would bring me. And his eyes, dark, mysterious and full of torment and pain. They spoke to me, inviting me to get to know who he really was.
I wanted all of his secrets and was certain he would be open enough to share them with me. After the first glass I decided to make the call I’d been waiting to make all night but didn’t have the nerve to.
“Hey.” His tone sounded agitated. I could sense it in just that one word.
“Hey.”
“You have a daughter.”
Statement not a question.
“And you have assault charges.”
The line went quiet until I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me who you were?”
“Because you didn’t know. I just wanted to remember what it felt like to be Jaasir and not Sol. You wouldn’t understand, and I get that, but I just needed you to really see me. Not the person the world expects me to be.”
I understood but wasn’t willing to explain how. He wasn’t the only one hiding but I wasn’t ready to let him into that part of my life.
“I get it.”
But would he get me, my life that was centered around my daughter?
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I’m spending the day with Gracie. We’ll be at Picnic in the Park. It’s a really big deal and everyone will be there. They have a bunch of stuff for the kids, food vendors, arts and crafts. Gracie loves it, so I make sure we go every time they have one. You might like it.”
Not an invite exactly but it was an opening…
“Doesn’t really sound like my type of vibe.”
“Maybe not, but you might run into a new friend and that might not be so bad.”
I shouldn’t have insisted.
Selfish. Selfish. Selfish.
“You know who I am, that means you know what type of life I live. You sure you want me around you? Around Gracie?”
“I didn’t read any of that stuff. Maybe I should and one day I might but right now, I don’t care about any of it.”
“You should.”
“I agree, but you said you wanted to be Jaah and not Sol.”
“Yeah but that was before you knew the truth.”
“Doesn’t matter. The man I know is the only truth I know right now. Jaah is who I spent the day with. Jaah is who met Gracie today. I trust him to be around me and Gracie. So if you decide to come, we’ll be there.”
“I’ll think about it.”
