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Guilt tipped the scale and mixed with the anger I was feeling. I didn’t need him feeling any worse than he already did. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I’d brought him into this lifestyle. Put people in his life that had no business having access to him.
“How can I not? This is on me, Sol.Me. Not you.”
I tossed the covers back and swung my legs over the side of the bed, allowing my elbows to sink into my thighs. I needed to work out.
It had been weeks. The tension in my muscles was a reminder that my routine had changed drastically over the past month.
“It’s not on you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You trusted people that I put into your life. People who shouldn’t have brought that shit around you. That’s on me, not you.”
“I’m not dumb or naïve. I knew what I was doing. Just didn’t give a damn. I needed something, anything. It’s on me. Just tell them to come for me and leave you the fuck alone. That will fix all of this. I’m not a kid anymore.”
His voice was a low growl, tense with anger. I didn’t give a damn where blame fell. I wouldn’t dare let him pay for a fuck up that had been a domino effect of decisions I’d made. It was all on me. All of it.
“Get dressed. We’re going out for a while. I need to get out this damn house. We can grab some food and maybe find a barber. Gotta trim this shit.”
My hand brushed over the thick mass of curls that sprouted from my head. I hadn’t had this much hair since I was a kid.
Being that I was trying to fade into the background, I’d let my hair and beard grow longer than usual but that didn’t mean I could let it just grow wild and untamed. There had to be some type of order.
“You go. I’m good here.”
“I’m sure you are, but we’ve both been stuck in this house for the past few weeks, staring at each other. I need to see something softer and a little more feminine than you and I’m sure you do too.”
He mumbled something unintelligible and tossed his chin offering a smile. I missed his innocence.
“Can’t say I don’t agree. Kinda tired of looking at your ugly ass too.”
I chuckled, raking my fingers through my hair. “Get dressed then and we’ll head out.”
&
“It’s weird as shit that nobody recognizes you.”
I glanced across the table at my brother before my eyes traveled around the small diner we were in. It looked to be right out of the early seventies and the furniture had most definitely been around that long.
The floor was tiled black and white and the walls were a dingy gray. At some point they no doubt had been a clean pristine shade of white but years of exposure had turned them. The weathered furniture was mostly wooden tables and chairs, a few booths with cracked black vinyl.
Most of which was patched up with duct tape. Up front there was a counter that stretched along one side with wooden stools topped with the same cracked vinyl that lived in the booths.
The crazy thing was the place was packed which was why I’d selected a spot in the back corner for privacy, but it wasn’t necessary. Nobody here gave us a second glance aside from their initial evaluation that no doubt keyed them in that we weren’t from around here.
We stuck out like sore thumbs but not because they knew who I was, only that we didn’t belong. I determined that as long as we kept to ourselves, no one cared.
They were polite and kind with greetings and small talk, but that was about all they offered. Good old fashioned Southern charm.
All day, we’d been out, surrounded by people in this tiny ass town and not one of them seemed to know who I was. Not that I was complaining because I didn’t need or want the attention.
It proved that most people were perfectly content leaving others to their own personal business.
“I look different.” A tatted hand brushed over the newly trimmed locks on my head.
I’d kept the top long, only tapering the sides into a temple fade but that was still a lot more hair than my normal low, cut with groomed waves.
Then there was the fact that my beard now had hang time. I was a lot more rugged than my normal clean cut appearance.
Kaliq shrugged. “I guess, not to me. Maybe you’re just not as popular as you think. So much for theKing of Smooth. These people don’t have a clue who you are.” He grinned before taking a massive bite of the burger he was working on but his eyes still held the humor from his insult.
Happiness.
