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“What?”
“That the King of Smooth can’t have what he wants. That somebody is telling you no. Thatshe’stelling you no.”
My jaw constricted because he was partially right. Not about the King of Smooth thing because fuck that. I always hated being referred to that way.
It wasn’t me but I was angry that she was telling me no. I wanted Cadence and Gracie in my life, even if I had no clue what that looked like for either of us.
“I have enough shit on my plate right now. I don’t need anything else.”
Lies. I didn’t give a damn what I had goin on. I needed Cadence. I would gladly move some shit around to have her. Only she wasn’t willing to give me the chance.
“You have too much shit on your plate to deal with me too?” His tone was hard, eyes just as dark which had me quaking my head.
“Never.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yeah, Liq. Absolutely fucking sure.”
He retreated. Only for a moment before he looked away. His thoughts were heavy. I could feel them looming but I waited to see if he was willing to share.
“If you didn’t have this thing with Sheets, dealing with her wouldn’t be such a big deal, right?”
No.
“It would still be a big deal. Things are complicated. Who she was, what that would mean for me. It’s not an easy fix.”
But it’s an easy decision.
I would choose her if she allowed me to.
“I need to tell you something.”
Shit. That sounds cryptic.
“So tell me.” He still wouldn’t look my way. He lifted the hat that hid his eyes and rubbed his head then down his face.
“What’s up, Liq? You can tell me anything you know that, right?”
I still didn’t have all the answers about the deal between him and Sheets. I knew that he’d asked Liq to get pills for him to disperse at parties and to artists, several times.
Knew that when the situations went bad, it was only my brother’s name who was tossed around when the charges were being discussed.
Sheets had pointed the finger. Blamed him when one of the artists almost overdosed. Thanks to Drew, the label settled things quietly. That was what money did. It kept people quiet. My money kept her quiet.
“Mom died because of me.” He said it so lowly, so tortured that it knocked the wind from my lungs.
There was no fucking way. She’d gotten distracted. Plowed into the concrete median that separated oncoming traffic. Died instantly. Kaliq walked away with a few scratches and bruises. I was grateful I hadn’t lost them both but it hurt like hell thatwe’dlost her.
“She got distracted…”
“Because of me.” His voice was angry and his eyes finally met mine. I could see the storm brewing. The darkness, the weight.
“We were on our way home. I got the email with my acceptance to NYU. You know what that meant to me.”
And you just walked away from it.
“I do.”
