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“And you’re doing what’s best for you and Gracie. I would never fault you for being a good mother and you’re the best there is, Cadee. I know that you would never put her in harm’s way. If you agreed, it’s because you trust him to keep you guys safe.”
“You don’t think I’m making a mistake?”
She crossed the room and plopped down next to me. “I think that you experienced something life altering and horrible in the past which made you wiser and stronger. He’s not your past. Maybe he’s a version of it but I’m good at reading people and he’s one of the good ones.”
“Then why do you give him so much shit?”
She smiled and shrugged. “Good one or not, he needs to understand that if he hurts you or Gracie, I’m going to make him regret that he ever did, in the worst way possible.”
“Oh I’m sure you will. But what about you? You’ll be here alone.”
“I’m never alone, boo and truthfully when you came back, I knew it was temporary. New York didn’t work for so many reasons but there’s a place out there for you. Being here was always a pit stop. You don’t fit.”
“And you do?”
She shrugged. “For the most part, yes. I’m happy with my life.”
“I’m happy too. Or at least I was until…”
“He showed up and reminded you that happiness here is cheating yourself. It was never the end goal. You came back because you had to. You needed us…”
“You make it sound like I used you.”
“God no, Cadee. That’s not it at all. We’re family and family steps up when you need them. You never asked. We offered. My point is, you’re bigger than this tiny house and this small town. It’s in you and for the past few years it’s been tucked away somewhere deep. You were afraid to let yourself want more because of what wanting more cost you the first time.”
I frowned. “This is not about who he is or me wanting that life again.”
I wanted Jaasir, not what he was attached to or what he could offer.
“I know that and so does he, but you can’t deny that you get the best of both worlds.”
“I hate when you get all wise and all-knowing.”
She barked a laugh. “Get? I’m always wise and all-knowing you just refuse to accept that I’m the brains and you’re the beauty.” She paused. “We’ll I’m beauty and brains too but I’ll let you have this moment since it’s not about me.”
I threw my arms around her and hugged Val like my life depended on it. “I love you. You’re the best friend anyone could ever have.”
“I know and you’re not so bad either.”
I still didn’t know if I was making the right decision but it was happening.
“I have to pack.”
“Yeah you do and I have a date.”
“You’re not going to help me?”
“Hell no, why would I help you bail on me?”
“Val….”
“I agree that it’s what you should do but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be in my feelings about you leaving.”
She walked toward the door, shooting me a bird but grinning over her shoulder. She loved me enough to let me go and that meant more to me than she would ever understand.
fifteen
Sol.
