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May shook her head, “I don’t understand.”
“I might end up in a situation where I have to do a scene with another woman.”
May tried to pull away again, but Nine kept going, “She’s not my sub. She’s married to someone I respect, and it’s my job to keep her safe.”
Nine shook his head, realizing how that could sound to someone who didn’t know the details of the arrangement.
“Why are you telling me this?” May asked. “If you hadn’t said anything, I never would have known.”
“I want honesty between us, May,” Nine answered. “Trust. If we don’t have that, then we might as well quit right now.”
May thought about that for a moment and then asked, “Why are you helping these people? Why does she need for you to be the one?”
“Because her husband couldn’t do it without killing people,” Nine said.
“And you can?”
“I stand a lot better chance than he does.”
“Would killing them be a bad thing?”
“I wouldn’t consider it a loss, but the people running the show might.”
“So you’re not the one making the decisions?”
“Not all of them.”
“Why did they pick you?”
“Because of what I used to do. And what I’m good at now.”
“Can you tell me about those things?” May asked.
“If I get through this and you still want to know,” Nine answered.
“If you get through this?” May’s voice sounded strangled.
“It’s fair for you to know so you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to continue our arrangement.”
“What will you do with her exactly?” May’s voice carried the weight of disappointment.
Nine hated the answer, but he gave May the truth. “Whatever I have to do to keep her breathing.”
May cleared her throat, “I see.”
And Nine figured that she probably didn’t see. Not at all. But with Freemont still at large and his parties and drugs running wild, Nine had ignored protocol in just telling her this much.
But he couldn’t lie to her. Even by omission.
He’d never cheated on a contract, and he wasn’t going to start now.
He’d done some life altering shit in his day. Things he had no hope of recovering from. He’d shattered his mind to the point that he doubted he could ever salvage the pieces. The best he could hope for was to smooth over the rough edges and hope no one around him got hurt.
And here he’d done the exact thing he’d been desperate not to do.
He’d hurt May.
He could see it in her body language, her downcast eyes, the way she couldn’t look him in the face anymore.
