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Caera sat up straight and sighed. It seemed she was keeping her end of the deal with her Dom, whether she meant to or not. “I don’t have friends or family, or a job. Didn’t,” she corrected, thinking of Saul and the family of friends he’d introduced her to. “I didn’t have Saul. Just books,” she mumbled, hoping she didn’t sound as pathetic as she felt. “Lots and lots of romance novels, with every heroine finding her man, keeping him, and getting a happy ending.”
“Ah, the essential happy ending.”
“Hmmm. It got to the point where I couldn’t keep reading about fantastic love stories with all the kissing and the sex. It hurt to think about fictional people overcoming their obstacles and spending the rest of their fictional lives with The One, when I was failing as a human being in general.” Caera gestured to the book spread open in Beryl’s grasp. “I figured my story would end just like the one written on those pages.”
“Oh honey. Everyone’s story comes to that conclusion. What makes the difference is the content—the quality, the length, the people we meet on the journey and how they affect us. Saul will have changed your life, the way you’ve changed his. His friends become yours, and the circle expands. We are but pinballs dropped into the vast belly of a huge and capricious machine, bouncing off everyone else.”
“Some of us clog the machine.”
Mama B snapped the book shut. “That boy was right, you need some joy bringing back to your world. Take a walk with me, honey. Let’s see if we can’t find something special to break the monotony.”
“I-I—”
“Come now,” she repeated as she rose, waiting patiently for Caera to unfreeze. “I’m not whisking you away into slavery, honey. We’re just going to take a walk through the store and see what catches your eye.”
Caera would have been happy to stay exactly where she was, but she reminded herself that Saul wanted her to be a conversationalist. She had to make an effort to come out of her protective shell around strangers, even more than she already had.
Ugh, that…that didn’t sit well in her stomach.
Slowly, she levered herself out of the remarkably comfy chair and clenched her fists uneasily. “Saul said I could get three.”
“Three books?” Mama B scoffed and waved that aside. “He should know better. We’ll find a nice pile for you to take home, and he’ll just have to be pleased for you. Now, what kind of romance tickles your fancy, hmm? We have an incredible range of science fiction, paranormal, mafia, BDSM, historical, reverse harem, contemporary…”
Wide-eyed, Caera trailed after her as the woman flitted from one section to another, stroking glossy spines as tenderly as a lover caressing skin. She remembered devoting that kind of affection towards her books once, before it caused her pain to even look at them and recall the happiness contained in the pages.
“This author is fantastic, we get a lot of positive feedback on her work,” Mama B said, stopping abruptly by a long shelf filled with books by one author. “Now, she covers different tropes—mafia, aliens, BDSM, and paranormal. Let’s see…we’ll start you off with this one…and this one…” She passed the books to Caera, then strode off again in a different direction.
More than thirty minutes had passed by the time they reached the front desk, and Caera’s conversational skills had dried up into a withered husk. She was exhausted, her arms were trembling under the weight of a small mountain of books, and she really wanted to sit down and process the avalanche that was Mama “Beryl” B.
“Saul hinted that you might be looking for a job.” The crazy woman who had basically kidnapped her for like an hour began transferring the mountain onto the counter, still as chirpy as before. “We have our quiet days, like today, but we get busier, especially on weekends. I think you’d fit in well here, if you think you’d be happy.”
“I-I’m not really a people person,” Caera hedged, sliding the rest of her stash onto the scarred wooden top.
Mama B shrugged that off lightly. “So you lack confidence, honey. That’s not insurmountable.” She slipped around behind the counter. “Mondays and Tuesdays to start. They’re the quietest days, and we mainly replenish the shelves, do the ordering, some tidying up.”
“Everything okay? Whoa, someone’s going to be a busy bunny.” Saul’s voice drifted over her a second before his arm curled around her waist, tugging her close. He dropped a couple of his own purchases on top of hers, then rubbed his cheek against her hair. “Missed you.”
God, she’d missed him too, and he hadn’t even left the bookstore. How pathetic was that? She leaned back against him, relaxing in a way not even being surrounded by books could manage. “I can put some of these back. I know we only agreed on three—”
“Little rabbit, if there were a hundred books on the counter that you wanted to read, I’d buy every last one for you.” Laughing, he spun her around and kissed her. “Don’t look so horrified, Caera. You should know by now that I’ll do anything to make sure there’s a smile in your eyes.”
How did he always say the right thing to make her feel loved? Was she so easy to read, or did it just come naturally to him? She kissed him back, mindless of their company, in a way that conveyed her gratitude without ever voicing it.
“Just wait until I get you home,” he murmured against her mouth, then eased away. Reaching into his pocket, he tugged out his wallet and glanced at a grinning Mama B. “What’s the damage, Beryl? Am I going to be able to pay my rent this month?”
She rattled off a total, then lifted a sleekly groomed eyebrow. “Am I using the ten percent employee discount?”
“Hmm. Good question. Caera?”
She looked from one pair of eyes to the other, her tongue between her teeth. This was just another of those huge steps that were apparently required on the path leading to where she wanted to be. Little step, little step, huge leap of faith.
Saul had gotten her this far, hadn’t he? He hadn’t let her fall, he’d been with her on the same path. Being with him had brought her more than she’d ever dreamed of—a lover, a brother, an honorary family, a future.
She could sleep because of him. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, maybe the night terrors still chased her, but he stayed up all night—sacrificing his own downtime—to keep her safe, and her sanity intact. When she was too far gone to wake before the past dug its claws into her and dragged her deep, he was always there to reel her back to reality and comfort her until the terror receded.
She hooked her finger through one of the loops on his waistband. “Monday?”
“Monday and Tuesday, ten until four.”
