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“Laugh all you want, you know I’m right.”
He was probably right, Saul admitted to himself. Fortunately for the subs he plucked from the crowd at Avalon, he had a great deal of compassion and respect for the women who literally placed themselves in his hands for a night.
“But I’m off-topic. I meant to ask how your work with Braun is going.”
Saul gave his laptop a scathing glance. “Obviously, with all the words not typing onto the screen because of the huge annoyance sitting right in front of me, it’s going splendidly.” He turned his reproachful glare onto Thane. “Oh, you mean in general, right? The blog’s pretty strong, picking up new hits. Vlogging seems to be the way forward. Pulls in higher numbers, and there’s more of a personal connection with the intended audience.”
“Of course there is. Have you seen your face? Stick that mugshot on the internet and all the dreamers will come flocking. What did he think of the educational proposal you put forward?”
Designing Avalon’s new website was both a gift and a curse in Saul’s eyes. On one hand, he got to do something he loved, with an almost free rein, and brought in a consistent income. On the other…Braun was somewhat resistant to the idea of opening Avalon to a wider audience. “It’s taking some persuasion. I think he’ll warm up to the idea, once he realizes it will give so many people the chance to participate in and observe what a scene entails. I think Bodie is doing her best to help me,” he added with a grimace, thinking of Braun’s pretty sub. “Her input might not be as helpful as she intends. I just believe that young studs who fancy themselves as Dominants should never be allowed near a whip and a woman in the same space. The same goes for wannabe submissives who couldn’t follow an order if the fate of the world depended on it. An educational website could offer insight into the lifestyle before they jump in recklessly and cause harm to themselves or others.”
“BDSM is getting more and more popular. People want to learn, and they want to learn from those in the community.” Thane shook his head slowly. “If you believe that the website is a positive step forward, push for it. There are enough couples in Avalon who would probably volunteer for a chance to act out a scene on camera as long as their identities are protected.”
Saul scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m getting jaded. I’m too fucking old to argue with the idiots who think dominance is a toy for them to wave around, thinking they can’t hurt anyone. Maybe it’s time to find a willing, young woman with a positive attitude and an open mind who wants more than a night of fun. I can spend my days programming websites, doing online interviews, and making the community safer one click at a time. Blow the rest of it off and just retire in peace.”
“Bullshit.” Laughing, his friend rolled his eyes. “Thirty-six is your prime time, Saul. I know web design is your comfort blanket, but that even sounds tedious to me. Well, aside from the willing, young woman. Think of all those young studs wandering around Avalon, left to their own devices without expert tutelage. Carnage, just carnage,” Thane added soberly. “My suggestion is work with Braun instead of against him, but show him that your idea has merit. He’s a good guy, a smart one, and he’s not a dick. He’ll listen.”
“You kiss your Mistress with that mouth?”
“Among other things.” Winking, Thane levered himself to his feet and began to pace around Saul’s office like a caged wolf, limping slightly. “Okay, let’s think about this. Drastic measures like quitting Avalon aside, maybe you just need a break. The website is done, pretty much. Just maintenance and updates to handle. Have you got any other projects due?”
“Six of them to date.” Saul rubbed his hand over his chin. As entertaining as this was, it was not getting his article written, polished, or sent to his editor before he added it to the blog, and he really did have several other things to do if he wanted to keep his bank account in the green.
“Okay, and it’s been how long since you got laid?”
“Jesus, Thane!”
“Simple question. How long since you and a pretty little sub set the bed on fire?”
Saul closed his eyes and shook his head in silent denial.
“All right, allow me to rephrase that. How long since you had sex that actually meant something to you, that had a connection in there somewhere? I’m not talking about flogging a woman for tutorial purposes and performing the mandatory thirty-second farewell. I’m talking about making long, sweet love.” Thane drew the word love out like lurve.
Saul tapped his index finger rhythmically against his temple for a moment, then in a robotic voice said simply, “Data not found.”
“Didn’t think so. That’s what has you at odds with yourself—a Dominant needs a submissive of his very own, Saul. Doing all these educational videos, writing the blog, putting yourself out there as a teacher… none of it seems important anymore because the focus has been on the whole, not on a specific part. The most important part—you.”
“Doing a fine job of channeling your Mistress, Thane. She’ll be so proud.”
“Bite me. It’s Con’s turn to submit tonight, and I’m taking full advantage of it.” The other Master narrowed his amber eyes at Saul. “Atticus has a cabin tucked away near Tucson. Pack your shit, drive up there, and chill. Just a few weeks, if that’s all you want. Reset your brain until it can juggle work and play equally, instead of prioritizing everyone else ahead of your own needs. Avalon isn’t going anywhere. The websites and blogs, the tutorials, aren’t going to keel over and die because your eyes aren’t locked on a screen.”
Whether it was due to desperation or just plain exhaustion, Saul found his friend’s words were hitting all the right notes. He was a man in his prime, financially sound and physically attractive. There was no reason he should be single if he didn’t want to be—and in all honesty, he didn’t.
He missed the scent of a woman when he walked through the door, the warmth and silkiness of her skin against his in bed. The companionship and comfort of another body.
It had been…Jesus, had it really been nearly two years since he’d had anything close to a long-term relationship? As he worked it out, he realized that, yes, time had been passing him by without acknowledgement. Worse, it wasn’t heartbreak that had him steering away from a connection with another woman—Tabitha had been lovely, just not meant for the likes of him—but work and life.
“You know what? Fuck it.”
Thane’s expression transformed into smug satisfaction. “Is that a yes?”
Standing, Saul stretched out muscles stiff from sitting in one place for hours. “Damn straight, it is. I hate admitting it, but you’re right—I need a break before I move forward. I can’t give my best to anyone if I’m burned out, and I’m reaching that breaking point,” he confessed quietly.
“Thank God for that. Sanity prevails.”
“Don’t assume I have any of that left,” he said ruefully.
Thane rounded the desk and clapped Saul firmly on the back. “You’re not crazy, just tapped out. I promise you, you’ll love it out there, in the middle of nowhere. I hated it at first, but it was what Connie needed, and after a day or so…you ever been somewhere that quiets everything inside you, Saul? Just wipes away the stress?”
