AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Ah, shit,” he breathed.
“Given the physical abuse—the scars, most notably—and the psychological impact of whatever occurred in her childhood, I’m seeing a lot of red flags. Add in the voices, the mention of underage sex, training, programs…sweetie, have your parents ever mentioned the possibility that you might have been adopted?”
A brittle laugh shocked her. “Adopted?”
“Yes.”
It was impossible. It wasn’t worth her time even considering that as an option. She knew who she was, who her parents were. They didn’t just pick her out of an orphanage like a stray puppy in the shelter. Whatever she thought of them for abandoning her, she still loved them.
But you don’t look like them. Either of them.
So what? Just because her father was tall with brown hair and blue eyes, and her mom was just as willowy, with hair a few shades lighter than her husband’s and hazel eyes, didn’t mean they’d gone kid shopping one day and come back with a blonde little girl possessing green eyes.
Recessive genes were responsible for a lot of anomalies. Throwbacks to generations long dead. Their physical similarities might not match, but they’d have told her if she wasn’t biologically their daughter.
But it makes sense. Where are those keepsakes, those photos? The treasures most parents keep in a box in the attic. Where’s your history, your childhood?
“She’s not saying it’s true,” Saul murmured, comforting her with a hand on her back. “Connie’s just putting it forward as something to consider.”
Caera met his eyes and asked bluntly, a little too sharply, “Have you considered it?”
“I admit, the flags are there, little rabbit. The only way to know for sure is to speak to your parents and demand answers.”
“Demand? I wouldn’t even know how to broach the subject, let alone demand anything!” God, her voice was rising to an almost shrill pitch. “This is ridiculous, absurd. They’d have told me. They would have said something.”
“Not all adoptive parents disclose that information, Caera. For a multitude of reasons. It could be that they were aware of your early history and wanted to protect you. Maybe they didn’t want to share you with your birth parents if you tracked them down. There are so many reasons.”
“No. No, if they knew, they would have said. They would have used that information to help me when I…when the nightmares…fuck!” Her skin began to itch furiously, a sure sign that her stress levels were rising. She scratched at her arm, slapping at Saul when he snagged her wrist. “How could they adopt a kid, then abandon her when she needed them most?”
“Caera,” Connie crooned. “Don’t run with this, okay? It is just a theory until proven otherwise. I could be completely wrong.”
“Or you could be horribly right.” Wriggling violently, she tried to escape Saul’s arms, but his upper body strength outweighed her about five hundred to one. “It just reinforces everything I knew about myself, doesn’t it? My own parents, my birth parents, tossed me away and left me in some kind of hell for eight years. My adoptive parents, if that’s what they are, dropped me faster than a hot potato at the first sign of trouble. Even the people who had me for nearly a decade of my life wanted rid of me because I’m defective.”
“Enough,” Saul growled.
“No! Don’t you see it? I can. My eyes are finally fucking open. I’m not supposed to be here. In this cabin, in this country, on this goddamn planet.” The sparks of happiness that had begun flourishing during her time with Saul fizzled and died without a murmur as a cold and murky darkness seeped into her, bringing the cold with it. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend that a few days of being here with you can solve everything the way I need them to. Eating and sleeping doesn’t make me normal, it just masks the rottenness beneath.”
Saul’s body was rigid, expressing his silent fury. She should have been afraid of the consequences of her words, but the cold numbed her to everything but the pain shredding her heart. “Connie, if you’ll excuse us, I have a matter to attend to here.”
“Call me later,” she said immediately. “Take care of her, Saul.”
“Planning on it,” he muttered between clenched teeth.
The moment the line went dead, he reached out and swept a swath of the desktop clear with his arm. Before the last pen stopped rolling across the floor, Caera’s back slammed against the wood, a hand around her throat, and both her wrists held prisoner above her head.
His eyes were black, burning with anger. “Are you giving up on me, little rabbit?”
“It was going to happen,” she told him dully. “This way, you don’t have to feel guilty.”
He laughed, but it was cruel. “Oh, I won’t feel guilty about anything, Caera. I’m not the one who’s hit a pothole in life, given a half-assed effort to get out of it, then keeled onto my back just waiting to die.” His words hurt, slicing at her. “I mean, sure, the people in your life might have cast you aside, but who cares if they missed out on the chance to know a brilliant, sweet woman? Their opinions are the only ones that matter, right?”
The edge of the desk bit into her lower back. His pelvis settled between her thighs, letting her bear his weight and feel the ridge of his erection rub over her pussy. “Nobody wants me.”
“I swear to God, I don’t know where you get these ideas from. The past doesn’t matter, Caera. The voices, your parents, they are your part of your history. They failed you, all of them, which means you can give them their own headline or relegate them to the footnotes.” His thumb caressed the side of her windpipe. “Adopted or not, this is when you step up and make your own future.”
Right now, it didn’t feel like she had one. The unexpected surprise to her day had cut her off at the knees, leaving her off-balance and mired in the familiar emotions she’d been battling for a long time.
“This is what we are going to do. We will have dinner and a relaxing evening, possibly in the hot tub with a bottle of wine. You’re going to think about what you want to do—do you have any urges to dig down to where the bones are buried, or are you content to stay as you are, blissfully happy and unaware?” Saul lowered his head, resting his cheek against hers. “I’ll help you do whatever you choose, little rabbit. Just don’t lose yourself.”
