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It didn’t help that the guy who was picking her up looked like someone off the cover of one of those magazines where the models didn’t wear much clothing.
Tall, dark hair and eyes, with a smile that dazzled.
Of course, he scared the shit out of her.
“Hey there, sweetie. Ready for your trip?”
Caera clutched her lone bag close, eyeing him suspiciously.
“Caera, right? I’m guessing Connie didn’t text you to let you know I’d be your driver for the trip.” Leaning non threateningly against the side of his pickup, he frowned. “I’m Loki, a friend of Connie’s. I’m heading to Tucson for a tattoo convention, so she asked me if I minded taking a little hitchhiker with me. Are you okay with that?”
So it wasn’t bad enough that she was going to stay in a cabin by herself in some remote area of a national park, Connie had decided to torture her by sending her with a complete stranger who exuded that aura of power that both Connie and her boyfriend seemed to possess.
Caera swallowed and nodded. She really should have finished reading that text from her friend—she’d read enough to know the time her ride was coming for her before she’d had a panic attack and thrown her phone into the laundry hamper.
“A shy one, huh? That’s fine. Look, you have my word I won’t hurt you. I’m here for chauffeuring duties only. Con said you might be reluctant to come with me, so why don’t we start slow?” He straightened, holding his hand out. “Will you trust me with your bag, sweetie?”
She was starting to shake. The nervous tremors that came with no sleep and a pot of coffee on an empty stomach were creeping along her arms. Hugging her bag tighter, she backed away an inch.
Once she was in that truck, he could take her anywhere. She didn’t know how to drive, had never even sat behind the wheel of a vehicle. It wasn’t as though she had any physical prowess to knock him out and drive to safety if he decided to kidnap her.
That smile flashed, soft and understanding. “Want to call Connie and make sure I am who I say I am?”
Oh boy, did she. But verifying who he was wouldn’t neutralize the anxiety of going outside her comfort zone. This step had to be her own, and taking it…taking it was a living nightmare.
It was early enough that there weren’t many people walking around, but she could feel eyes watching her every move. Judging her, laughing at her. The air seemed to shrink around her with every passing moment, squeezing the breath from her lungs.
“Oh, I know that look. I’ve seen subs with the same expression right before they pass out, so you’re not gonna do that, Caera.” His voice was nonsense buzzing in her ears.
She swayed, bowing under the pressure of hidden stares. The bag slipped from her grasp into Loki’s, but she didn’t care. Her body flinched as a strong arm hooked around her waist, holding her upright as he opened the truck door, scooped her up, and set her in the seat.
“Head between your knees, sweetness. Deep breath in and hold it for me.”
Her fingers dove into the mess of her hair, gripping fistfuls and yanking as she rocked. She didn’t understand why she was like this. Why she couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t remember anything before she turned eight years old. Why she couldn’t be fucking normal.
“Bad idea. Bald is bad.” Loki untangled her fingers, then set his hand on the back of her skull and forced it down until her ears were almost level with her knees. “Breathe, Caera. Life is short when you don’t take a breath.”
She wheezed in, almost choking on the exhale. A stranger was touching her, her lungs were dying, and she was fighting an anxiety attack on a level she’d never experienced before.
“That’s a good girl. In and out, nice and easy.” His fingers moved over her scalp, massaging her in a way that wasn’t remotely sexual as far as she could tell. It was comforting, soothing, and she began to focus on that rather than the millions of eyes peering at her with disgust, crushing her beneath the combined weight of their hate.
“I hope Connie knows what she’s doing, sending you out there alone. Here, sweetness, sit up now,” he murmured when her breathing calmed. “That’s better. Pale, sweaty, but still with me, yes?”
Exhaustion lapped at her, taunting her. The battle wasn’t over, far from it. Panic attacks made her doubly tired, and keeping her eyes open so she didn’t fall headlong into the nightmares would strip her pitiful stamina down to the bones.
“Lean back so I can put your seatbelt on, Caera. There’s a drive-through on the highway that serves a mean breakfast. We’ll stop in on our way past and get you something to eat. All this stress is eating the weight off you.” Loki reached in and pulled the belt around her, clicking it in. “If you need anything, you tell me. Do you need any meds?”
The drugs were useless. They didn’t keep her awake or send her deep enough into sleep that she could evade the nightmares. They just held her on the precipice of where slumber ended, and the horrors began.
Numb, Caera couldn’t say or do anything as Loki closed the door quietly and rounded the hood of the truck. It took all of her energy not to shut her eyes as he slid in beside her and started the engine.
For two hours, he chatted to her as he drove. The scenery changed from city to rural, the highway a long and winding road to her next destination. They stopped at the drive-through, and he bought her a coke, a hotdog, and some donuts which smelled amazing.
At one point, lost in the haze, Caera thought she heard him talking to Connie, arguing with her, and her friend’s reply saying everything was okay and just to get her to the cabin.
So they drove until Loki veered off the highway onto a single-track road, his truck bouncing on the uneven, stony ground. That was good, the bumps helped keep her awake. Miles upon miles of cacti surrounded them at one point, an ocean of prickly bastards spreading as far as the eye could see.
Gradually, the land changed, and trees began to take the place of their spiny cousins. The dirt road split off into routes, and the truck headed along the left-hand track, winding deeper into the side of the rocky hill, into the dense plantation of thick oak.
