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It was easy to be sucked into the camaraderie of this unit of friends. They were open and honest, banding together in ways Caera had only ever imagined. Not just that, there were more she hadn’t met yet. More people piling into her life so she didn’t know where to put them or what to do with them.
Throw in a brother—well, half-brother—and a whole new universe where people getting spanked and whipped and fucked for fun was actually real and not just trapped in the pages of a book…she was spinning, just a little, in the craziness of it all.
“Little rabbit.”
Caera peeked over at Saul, her body humming awake at the sight of all that skin on show. The way he moved highlighted the subtle bunch and release of his muscles, making her dream about how they might shift under her hands when he was on top of her, how they would feel under her palms with all that strength in motion.
He sat on the coffee table after nudging the plate aside, watching her cautiously.
“I’m not sure Connie would appreciate you sitting on her table,” she murmured.
“Well, the only ones who know are you and me. Do I need to blackmail you into keeping my secret, bunny?”
“You don’t need to,” she heard herself say.
“But you’d like me to? Hmm, I wonder what devious tricks I can come up with to secure your silence.” Saul tapped a finger on his chin in mock thoughtfulness. His eyes gleamed with mischief. “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll—”
Caera pushed herself up. “It’s not Friday, Saul.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Are we doing this? For real?”
He crooked his finger, summoning her, and she went willing from chair to lap, snuggling into him. “That depends on you, Caera. After everything that’s happened, after last night…is sex something you want to add to the equation right now?”
Oh God, her night by the pond was going to stalk her forever. Maybe it should. “Last night was…emotional. I shouldn’t have run like that, but…there are no excuses, Saul. I shouldn’t have worried you that way. I don’t want you to think…I guess that’s all you’re going to think about me, isn’t it?”
His lips touched her hair. “I’m not gonna be watching your every move and interpreting it as suicidal, Caera. The truth is I’m hoping that some of the weight on your shoulders is going to ease, and those urges aren’t going to be as strong. There’s no shame in being overwhelmed, little rabbit.”
“There’s shame in everything.” Caera lifted her hand to his cheek, liking the rasp of his stubble on her palm. “I don’t want to be ashamed of being with you, Saul. I just want you. If you need my consent, I give it. Can we just pretend I’m normal, just for today?”
“We can do that.” He tipped her head back, covering her mouth with his own before she could say another word.
He was still kissing her, still blurring her thoughts, as he rose with her in his arms and carried her away. It felt like floating, head and heart and body drifting along, his mouth whispering secrets into hers. The warmth of him seeped into the chilled spots in the darkest corners of her brain, the places where anxiety and negative possibilities thrived.
The kiss broke when he stepped into the bedroom and lowered her onto shaky legs, one arm wrapped around her waist while he shut the door with the other. Spinning her around so her back faced the bed, he guided her in reverse, pushing her until she toppled onto the sheets.
He’d pulled the covers down, she realized. The bed was waiting for them.
“Do you know how jealous I was, seeing you on Jasper’s lap like that?” Saul shook his head, reaching down to release the knot holding her robe together. “The man is almost a brother to me, and I was so fucking tempted to storm in and smash his face in for touching what’s mine.” The belt flopped to either side, and the fabric parted under his hands. “Had to remind myself that he’s besotted with Archie, and the blood running in his veins is damn near the same that runs in yours.”
Caera swallowed hard.
“All this is mine, Caera.” His head bowed, lips teasing the lowest part of her belly before his nose trailed up her midsection, all the way up to the hollow of her throat. His hands didn’t touch her, they just braced his weight on either side of her. “I want you, little rabbit, so I’m going to have you. I know I’m going to fucking keep you.”
She quivered, feeling herself grow wet as his lips started to cruise over her neck, his hips settling between hers. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“Hmm.” He nipped her throat in admonishment. “Don’t assume I don’t mean whatever comes out of my mouth. If I tell you I’m keeping you, little rabbit, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” The stubble on his chin scraped lightly over her skin as he kissed his way down to her left breast. “When I tell you I love you, I damn well mean it.”
Hearing it a second time unraveled her. Last night, beside the pond, she’d barely allowed the words to sink in, half-convinced he’d thrown them out as a lifeline to stop her from going through with bringing her pathetic existence to an end.
Now…well, sex might be involved, but she really hoped there was truth in it.
Lips closed around her nipple, sucking gently, leaking her thoughts out of her ears. Reduced to low moans and a frantic need to scratch the itch building in her blood, Caera dared to slide her fingers into his disheveled hair, clutching it as though she could control his head.
Apparently her lack of substance in the chest area was not a problem.
Not a problem at all.
