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He interrupts me before I can finish. “Are you delusional? There’s no way this would ever work. You came here for an answer, and you got it. I am so dangerously attracted to you, Phoebe. I’m ashamed I let things get this far. That’s why I’m putting a stop to it now. This wasstrike onefor us. We can’t afford another one,” he says in a low but serious tone.
Unlike the times he’s pushed me away before, this time, he looks shattered. I came here to break him and that’s exactly what I did. I got the answer I wanted and more, but somehow, I just feel worse. He’s been trying to do the right thing for so long, and I just seduced him into coming all over my stomach.What the hell is wrong with me?
“I understand. I’ll see you at practice,” I whisper, nodding my head. I don’t have it in me to argue with a broken man, one who’s tried so hard to care for me without crossing the line.
“Thank you for everything, Knox,” I add, before closing the door behind me.
TWELVE
PHOEBE
Gasping for air, my head breaks the surface of the salt water as I keep myself afloat in the strong tide. It’s been five days since Knox dry humped me against the wall, melting me to a million pieces. He felt absolutely amazing, our most intimate parts grinding together. It also felt like a bittersweet goodbye, as if we both knew what our bodies needed in that moment before we ended this dangerous game.
I feel like the universe loves to fuck with me. Knox is the first person to make me feel like this. He makes me feel admired, wanted, sexy, and confident. When I’m around him, all my problems seem to dissipate, as if we’re the only two people in the universe. When our eyes meet, butterflies dance in my stomach and flames ignite throughout my body. He makes me feel all these powerful things, but I can never have him. The man who’s brought endless color into my life is my coach.We’re the definition of right person, wrong time.Why is life so cruel?
I take a deep breath before ducking my head beneath the water and diving under the current as another wave crashes in. Today is Saturday and I don’t have class, so I decided to watch the sunrise and take a morning swim. The sun is peeking over the horizon, painting gold hues across the water. The combination of the two is breathtaking.
Maisie and I are going shopping this afternoon to find outfits for Island Fever tonight. My actual birthday isn't until tomorrow, but since it falls on a Sunday, we’re celebrating early. I love Maisie to death, but just a few hours with her can be overstimulating to say the least. I needed some time alone this morning before we “fuck shit up:” Maisie’s words from last night as we laid in her bed, eating Oreos and planning for today.
The ocean has always been my happy place. I love the feel of the sand beneath my toes and the salt water on my skin. When I’m floating on the surface, staring up at the sky, it feels like I’m transported to another universe. It reminds me I’m just a tiny spec in comparison to the vastness of the world. Being surrounded by the ocean makes my problems seem smaller. It’s the definition of bliss.
“Miss! Can you hear me? You need to swim back in. You’re too far out!” I hear a deep voice yelling. Floating on my back, I position myself upright and squint to see where the voice is coming from. I feel something hard thud against my back, scaring the shit out of me. My fight or flight instincts kick in, and I spin my body around, swinging at whatever was behind me. It’s when my fist connects with the orange and white warning buoy that I realize I let myself float too far from shore.
‘“Shit!” I curse at the pain radiating down my hand, throbbing from the hard surface it just connected with.
“You okay? I’m swimming out to get you!” a young man wearing aBeach Patrolshirt calls out.
“No! I’m fine. I can swim; I just drifted out too far,” I shout back, kicking and paddling towards the shore. The beach patrol dude watches me like a hawk my entire swim back.
“I told you I could swim,” I exhale, emerging from the water. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath, my lungs feeling like they’re on fire. I remind myself toneverswim out that far again.
“Are you asking for a death sentence? There’s barely anyone out here this early. One rip current and you’d be a goner.” His eyes quickly assess my bikini-clad body, landing on the bruises forming across my knuckles. I’m going to have a great time explainingthatto everyone.
“You need anything for that?” he asks, pointing to my red knuckles.
“No, I’m fine,” I reply, ready to leave and end this conversation.Why is he acting like I almost died or something?
“What you did was careless. You don’t want to know how many people die from rip currents each year. Once you get pulled into one, it’s almost impossible for us to get to you in time. Be smarter next time,” he chastises me, shaking his head. “Anyways, have a good day.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” I snark before saluting him and walking off.Why am I such a bitch?I feel his eyes glued to my ass as I strut away.
* * *
“Oh.My. God.That’s the one,” Maisie gasps as I twirl from side to side, taking in all my angles. “You look hot as hell. You’re getting that dress. I’m not giving you an option.” She fans her hand in front of her face to emphasize her vote.
We’ve been in Coral Boutiqueplaying dress up for the past two hours. It’s a beautiful shop, with blush-pink walls and elegant, gold fixtures. The fitting room is decorated with a crystal chandelier and a spacious, round couch for guests to lounge on.
Maisie found her outfit almost immediately - a pair of high waisted, black leather pants and a black lace top that makes her boobs look amazing. She found a pair of red heels, adding a pop of color to the ensemble. Her outfit screams“Maisie”- she’s going to look incredible.
I, on the other hand, have not had the same luck. Everything I’ve tried on has been cute, butcuteis not the look I’m going for.
Smiling at myself in the mirror, I think I’ve finally found the sexy look I’ve been searching for. It’s a silk black dress, the short skirt barely hitting the tops of my thighs. It has a small slit in the right leg, almost reaching my panty line. Thin straps connect at the back, right above my ass, exposing almost all my back.
“I thought these would go perfect with your dress,” the boutique’s stylist interrupts, handing me a pair of black, strappy heels.
“Thank you,” I reply with a smile, slipping on the heels and taking in the full outfit in the mirror.Holy shit.I don’t even recognize myself. I’ve never worn anything this daring or bold before. I blink at myself in shock, loving the confident woman staring back at me.
“I’ll get it,” I decide, my eyes never leaving my reflection. “The shoes too. I’ll take it all.”
