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“Maisie, there’s so much you don’t know. I know how it looks, but please, just let me explain,” I plead as my eyes start to well with unshed tears.
“Phoebe, I don’t think you get it,” she scoffs. “I could honestly care less who you decide to fuck. If you would have told me this weeks ago, I would have laughed, cried, freaked out, and swooned with you as you shared all the dirty details. What pisses me off is that you’ve been lying to me this entire time. You made me look like a damn fool, covering for your ass and asking Colin where and how you are every time I see him. You’ve been so fucking distant for the past month. I’ve barely seen you. Now, I know why.” She shakes her head.
“This isn’t just about me, and you know it,” I reply, letting a lone tear slide down my cheek. “This is about Knox and his privacy too. You’re one of his athletes, Maisie. How can you not understand why I would hide this from you?”
“Youhave the nerve to inform me I’m one of his athletes?” She arches her brows and laughs darkly. “Rain check - so are you, Phoebe. Not only are you his athlete, but you’re also fucking him in your free time. So no, I don’t understand why you couldn't have told me. The only thing that makes sense in my mind is that you just don’t trust me.”
“It all happened so fast,” I rush out. “After my birthday weekend, I promised myself it would never happen again. Then the night of the athletic banquet, everything changed.”
“Your birthday weekend? So that’s who you disappeared with that night. You were with him. Did you also lie and say you were with Colin when you were late to breakfast last weekend?”
“Yes,” I exhale, my voice coming out shaky and weak.
“You're unbelievable,” she scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. “How can you lie to someone you call a friend so easily? Not just once, but over and over again.”
“Maisie, please…” I plead, walking towards her to take a seat at the table. Before I have a chance to sit down, she’s standing up and backing away.
“I have nothing else to say to you,” she whispers as her eyes begin to glass over.
“Maisie…” I follow her as she turns to walk away.
“No. Donottake another step,” she warns, spinning on her heels to face me. “At this point, we’re just roommates. I can’t be friends with someone I don’t trust,” she rasps, clearly trying hard to hold back her tears.
“I understand…” I whisper. A whisper is all I can manage right now.
What am I supposed to say to make this better? She has every right to feel betrayed. I’ve lied to her multiple times, lied to her while I’ve been having sex with our coach.Admitting it to myself makes it sound so much worse.The walls feel like they’re closing in around me. My chest feels like it’s being weighed down by bricks, making it hard to breathe.
“Can you just answer me one thing? Please answer me honestly, Maisie. This could affect Knox’s livelihood,” I ask through shaky breaths.
“That’s rich.Youaskingmeto be honest,” she cuts me off in a clipped tone. “I already know what you’re going to ask, and the answer is no. I’m not going to snitch, because I’m not a vindictive person. I don’t find satisfaction in hurting people I care about. So don’t worry, yoursecretissafe with me.” She turns her shoulders to walk away but halts her steps before quickly spinning back around to face me, her brows etched together in pain.
“You know what hurts the most? The fact you would even think to ask me that question. That you think I’m the type of person who would go and expose such a damaging, life changing secret. I’m starting to think you never knew me at all, Phoebe,” she croaks, finally allowing a tear to escape from her emerald eyes.
“Maisie, I’m so sorry,” I reply as uncontrollable tears start to stream down my face.
In just a few short months, Maisie became my person. My best friend.Now I’m losing her.
“Me too,” she whispers, walking to her room and shutting the door behind her.Shutting me out.
TWENTY-FIVE
PHOEBE
The bright field lights bounce off my shiny helmet as I stand in the batter’s box and prepare for the next pitch. I’m down in the count with two strikes and one ball. Whatever I do, I cannot strike out. Bases are loaded, and we’re down by one run in the last inning. Being the home team, we have the last chance to bat. All I need to do is get a decent hit and bring in two runs. Once again, the fate of the game literally lies in my hands.
This is our last preseason game, and if we win, we’ll be undefeated. We don’t have many fans in the stands tonight, being that it’s a Wednesday and everyone’s preparing to leave for fall break. As much as I love hearing the cheer of the crowd, there’s something special about the silence: the sound of cleats scraping against the dirt, the crunch of sunflower seeds, hands rattling against the dugout, and teammates talking amongst each other.
I take a deep breath as I shuffle my feet in the dirt and angle myself towards the pitcher. We’re facing one of the best pitchers in our conference, hence the reason why I just swung and missed twice. She has one of the best curveballs I’ve ever seen.
“Phoebe!” Knox’s deep voice calls out from third base, immediately grabbing my attention. Once my eyes lock with his, he gives me a soft smile and nods his head. It’s his way of comforting me, telling me that he knows I can do this.
“You got this, Bee,” he mouths, only for me to see. He flashes me a quick wink before clapping his hands together and turning his gaze back to the pitcher.
It’s moments like this that make me fall even harder for him. Knox knows confidence isn’t my strongest attribute, and he’s always finding ways to remind me I’m enough. Gone are the days of seeking out my parents' approval in the stands, or anyone else's for that matter. I’ve learned I don’t need another person's praise to be proud of what I’ve accomplished. Even if I were to strike out, Knox would never allow me to walk off the field hanging my head. He would go out of his way to remind me of a great play I made or an achievement I should be proud of. Knox may be a hardass, but he knows the difference between uplifting his athletes and making them feel worthless. As sick and twisted as it may sound, I couldn't be more thankful to have the opportunity to be coached by him.
“You gonna get ready for the pitch or just eye fuck your coach?” the catcher says with a smirk on her face.
Shit.Am I being that obvious?
