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“You know what’s even more pathetic?” I breathe out. “The fact that I spent countless nights pacing back and forth, contemplating if I should reach out to you. I’d practice what I would say if you answered the phone. I’d type out messages and then delete them. But I never let myself stoop that low because, at the end of the day, you chose my brother. And I’ve learned to live with the truth that you didn’t want me. You never did.We had a fun night together, and that’s clearly all it was to you.”
“Everett,” she rasps, reaching across the console to grip my forearm. I flinch at her touch, but for some reason, I don’t pull away.
“Everett, look at me,” she pleads. My eyes flicker to hers to find a pained expression etched across her beautiful face.
“You asked me not to put words in your mouth, so please, don’t do it to me. I did want you. Istillstruggle with wanting you,” her voice cracks.
“There are things that you don't know. There are reasons that I didn’t show up that morning. But I promise you, not a single one is because I didn’t want you. That night was so much more than just afun nightfor me. That night has haunted me for the past three years. It was single-handedly the best, and worst night of my entire life. So please, don’t think for one second that I haven’t been living through hell too.” Her hand squeezes my forearm as her eyes search mine.
I nod my head, tearing my eyes back to the road. I feel confused and hurt, but most of all sad. Sad that we’ve both been feeling this way for years, yet we’ve been dancing around each other like strangers. I’m confused as to why she’s still with my brother. What does he have over her?None of it makes sense to me.
“You confuse me, Skylar,” I reply hoarsely. I’m not going to ask her about Elliot, because prying into her life is the reason we’re in this situation now. It’s the reason we’ve opened old wounds that are now dripping with fresh blood. Wounds that will have to be healed again. Wounds that I’m not sure my body or mind is ever capable of healing.
“I know,” she croaks, pulling her warm hand from my body. She places it in her lap, tightly clasping her fingers together.
“Everett…” She whispers.
“Yeah?” I rasp.
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”
My shoulders tense as I think about last night, when she told me she hated me through clenched teeth. I know she didn't mean it, but it still stung.
“I know, Sky,” I reply, my eyes flicking to hers for a beat. I turn up the radio, letting the music fill the heavy void between us.
* * *
Five long hours later,we’re driving through the city of Colorado Springs. This view is what makes road trips worth it. White-capped mountains take shape in the distance, growing larger the further we drive north. Red rock structures surround us, jutting up from the ground like giants. The bright sun causes the snow-covered ground to glisten like a million crystals.
And the best part? There seems to be no traffic today, making it feel like we’re the only ones on the road. We honestly couldn't ask for a better day. We’re a little over an hour away from Denver, so we’re making great timing.
I look over at Skylar and my heart skips a beat at the perfect sight. She’s lounging back in her seat, her bare feet dangling out of the open window. Her wild chestnut hair blows in the breeze, whipping and flowing in every direction. Her full lips are turned up in a smile as she bobs her head to our playlist.My playlist,I quickly correct myself.
Even though the sun is out, it’s still cold as hell outside, which means I’m freezing my ass off with her window rolled down. But I can’t bring myself to ask her to roll it up. That would be a cardinal sin when she looks so happy and carefree. I’ll gladly freeze my ass off if that means I get to have her next to me, kicking her feet and smiling like she’s simply happy to be alive.
The tense mood between us seemed to have shifted after our conversation this morning, almost as if we’d come to an understanding. It’s relieving to know that my feelings for her haven't been one-sided, but it’s also so damn frustrating.
Why is she staying in an unhappy relationship? Why doesn't she think she deserves to live the life that she wants?She’s so young, makes her own money, and has a good job. She has the world at her fingertips, yet she’s choosing to stay with a man who treats her like a distant friend. It fucking kills me to think about how he treats her.
“Hey, can you stop at that convenient store?” Skylar rushes out, distracting me from my thoughts. She pulls her feet back in the truck, rolling up the window as she folds her legs in her seat. My head darts in the direction of her finger as she points toward a large gas station off the side of the highway.
“We have plenty of gas to make it to Denver,” I click my tongue. “We stopped less than an hour ago.”
“Stop playing dumb, Everett,” she rolls her eyes. “Just pull over when we get there.”
“Craving powdered donuts again?” I scoff. I’m just taunting her at this point because I know there’s only one reason she wants to stop.
“You wish,” she snorts. “I’m lucky my body hasn't gone into shock from all the shit we’ve eaten. Besides, I’m still full from lunch.”
We stopped at a Mexican restaurant for lunch, feasting on enchiladas and margaritas. Well, I only had a sip of Skylar’s margarita since I’m driving, but damn, it was good. Maybe the tequila is why she’s been so blissed out for the past few hours.
“So… What do you need then?”I know what she needs, but I want to see her roll those ocean eyes at me again.
“Really, Everett? Why else would I be asking you to stop?” She folds her arms beneath her chest, pushing up her perfect tits. I dart my eyes away, focusing my gaze back on the road.
“I don’t know, you tell me,” I smirk.
“God, you’re so annoying,” she huffs before continuing. “I need to use the ladies’ room.There.Are you happy now?”
