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“I’m sorry, Skylar,” he exhales. “I know I said I would shut up and let you speak, but I can’t sit here and listen to you put the blame on yourself. I’ve stood on the sidelines and watched him treat you like you're invisible for years. And you know what? Maybe a fucked up part of me thought you deserved it for choosing him. I still don’t know why you’ve stayed with him for this long, and maybe one day you’ll help me understand. But I know with one hundred percent certainty that you deserve so much more. You’re going to wake up one day and be thankful for what happened today. You’re going to be so fucking happy that you dodged a bullet.”
Everett’s voice cracks before he clears his throat and breaks my heart.
“And the man who does get to spend the rest of his life with you, the man who gets to wake up to your smile every day, is going to be the luckiest person on the planet. That’s going to be the best revenge you could ever pay my brother.”
My heart sinks at his words, as if he could never be that man. As if it could be anybody else but him. As if any other man could make me feel the way he does. As if I could be truly happy with anyone else.
“Everett…” I breathe his name. “I’m going to ask you a question, and please don’t lie to me or beat around the bush.”
“Okay,” he nods.
“Over the years, did you ever hold on to the hope that there was still a chance for us? Did you ever think there was a possibility that we would find our way back to each other?”
I’ve wanted to ask him this question for so long. My heart drums against my chest as he takes a deep breath, rubbing a palm against his forehead.
“Honestly, no,” he mutters in a low tone. “I couldn't allow myself to think like that. I couldn't give myself even a crumb of false hope. I couldn't let the idea of you destroy me more than it already had.”
I couldn't let the idea of you destroy me more than it already had.I force myself to blink back more tears, swallowing down the painful truth of that comment.
“Do you still feel that way?” I rasp. “Could you ever forgive me for walking away?”
For the first time since we started this conversation, he darts his gaze away from mine. He places an elbow on the table, resting his chin in his palm as he stares off into the distance. I study the perfect lines of his face through blurry eyes, waiting for him to speak. The silence is deafening. It’s uncomfortable, loud…devastating. It’s too much.
The next time I blink, a hot tear slips down my cheek, the salty drop sliding to my trembling lips. I quickly wipe it away with the pads of my fingers, the wooden chair creaking against the floor as I stand from the table.
“Thank you for dinner,” I manage to say through an unconvincing smile. “But I’m really tired. I’m going to take a quick shower and go to bed. Have a good night.”
Everett’s out of his chair in a flash, blocking my path to the hallway. He towers over me, staring down through pinched brows.
“You’ve barely touched your food,” he utters, his eyes darting to my plate.
“I’ve lost my appetite.” My eyes close as he steps closer, sliding his fingers into my hair as he cradles my face between his palms.
“Skylar…” he croaks, tilting my head up to meet his sapphire gaze. “You asked me to be honest.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Answer me one question in return,” he mutters, his eyes already searching mine for an answer. “If we wouldn't have walked in on Elliot tonight, would you have stayed? Would you have closed the door of that hotel room and shut me out like before?”
I swallow, my eyes flinching at his question.
“Everett, he was my fiancé less than a few hours ago,” I rasp. “You know I have deep feelings for you, but that doesn't change the fact that he was my fiancé, my colleague, and your brother. What did you expect? For me to tell him that I’m running off into the sunset with you? It’s not that easy, and you know it,” I shake my head. “It’s never been easy for us.”
He nods his head, the muscles in his jaw flexing.
“Then you should understand why I don’t… why Ican’thave hope for us, Skylar. I can’t risk entertaining the idea of us, not when you could be gone in the morning. You could ask me to take you to the airport, and another three years would go by of me living in hell. I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Skylar. You know that. But I can’t hold on to you forever, or I’m going to die a lonely, miserable life. So no, I can’t allow myself to imagine a world where there’s an us. At least not until you can too.”
I can barely see him through the tears welling in my eyes.
“I understand,” I whisper, taking a few steps back until his fingers slowly slide from my jaw. I decide he’s seen me cry enough for one day, so I step around him, not letting my next tear fall until I’m walking away.
“Goodnight, Everett,” I rasp.
TWENTY
Everett
I’m lying in bed with my arms folded behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. I listen to the tick of the fan as the cool breeze blows across my bare chest. Beams of moonlight shine in from the window, casting shadows across the dark room. I finally gave up on sleep after tossing and turning for two hours. It doesn't help that Skylar’s room is literally across the hall from mine. I could easily crawl out of bed, take a few measly steps, and have her soft body in my arms.
