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Until I see the way Ivan is looking at me.
Desire turns his eyes dark—feral. He groans as if in pain and presses his forehead to the smooth skin between my breasts. “Cora.”
My name on his lips is an aphrodisiac. Fuel on the fire—not that it needed any.
I slide my hips forward and back, gently grinding into him. “Some cruel twist of fate has brought the two of us together and I say we make the most of it while we can. Until we bounce off each other and go our separate ways, why not enjoy the sexual chemistry?”
He lifts his head from my chest, looking up at me beneath heavy brows. “I didn’t take you for the casual sex type.”
“And I didn’t take you for the monogamous type,” I fire back. “You’ll marry a ‘suitable woman’one day. But until then, you’re more than free to fuck me.”
He squeezes my ribs, his hands shifting ever higher until his thumbs brush against the lace material of my bra. “Things are going to get complicated fast.”
“Things are already complicated. But this?” I grind into him again, trying not to moan. “This has always made perfect sense.”
He grits his teeth and swipes his thumbs over the hard points of my nipples. A faint whimper sneaks between my lips. “Nothing about you has made any fucking sense. Not since the moment we met.”
I’m not sure what he means, but I don’t want to ask. Not now. I don’t want to get sidetracked with anything else.
Not when he is alive and in front of me.
Not when, in a not-too-distant future, he’ll be far out of my reach.
“This will sell our charade.” I’m breathless already, half-lost to the desire pounding between my legs. “It will make us seem more realistic.”
His hands slide down my waist and wrap around my lower back. I arch into his touch.
“Unless we’re planning to offer webcam viewings of my bedroom, I don’t see how what we’re doing right now will help sell anything to anyone.”
If he wanted to, I’d let him set up a webcam. If it meant he’d keep touching me, I’d do just about anything.
He growls again, a low rumble vibrating from him and through me. I force my eyes open—force myself to look at him. At his stubbled jaw. At the tattoos climbing up his neck. At the golden flecks in his amber eyes.
And for just a second, I’m forced to look at myself. At my own motivations for being here. For suggesting any of this.
This is more than a flimsy facade for the sake of “his mission.” This is a facade for what I really feel. For the feelings I can’t navigate and won’t confess.
Despite it all, I want this man. Desperately.
This is just the only way I can have him.
For now, it has to be enough.
Ivan’s eyes trail over my face and my body. Then, all at once, he pushes me back and prowls over me. He settles between my legs, his hands pressed into the mattress on either side of my head, caging me into his body, his scent.
“God, it’s good to feel you like this,” he murmurs between bites of my collarbone. He looks at me up the length of my body, his eyes hooded. “Seeing you the way you were was a fucking nightmare. This is…better.”
Someone admitting they like you better conscious isn’t exactly poetry, but Anya’s words ring out in my head.If he reveals even a drop of emotion to you, there’s an ocean of feeling where that came from.
This is sex.Justsex, I remind myself. Hoping for anything more is a waste of energy.
“I prefer myself conscious, as well.” I slide my hand between our bodies and stroke the underside of his erection. “It makes it easier to do this.”
He drops his head onto my shoulder and groans in my ear. “Fucking hell, Cora.”
I slip inside his pants and grip him. “It’s good practice, too. You said if people could see us having sex, they’d have no doubt about our relationship. Maybe we should give it a try.”
A laugh hisses between his clenched teeth. “Reconsidering my webcam idea?”
