AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“He then tells me that it's the only head he gives, and that’s why he has them. Well, a man who doesn’t give head is as useful to me as a condom machine at the Vatican. So, I pulled out my phone and quickly texted Dennis.” We’ve all heard of Dennis. He’s a police officer who is Aunt Cass’s fuck buddy when she doesn’t have anyone else. He’s probably the only steady man in her life, but he seems to understand her concrete walls, and they’re able to keep it completely casual.
I’ve never been able to engage in casual sex. Well, except that once, and it sort of blew up in my face. I still haven’t gotten him out of my mind, but it’s been years since I’ve seen or heard from him. It’s for the better. Nothing could ever happen between us anyway.
“I told Dennis it was a Code 69 and gave him the address.” I don’t know what aCode 69is, and I’m afraid to ask. “Dennis shows up fifteen minutes later in his uniform, and places me under arrest for prostitution. Right there at the table, he bent me over and cuffed me. You should have seen my date’s face. It was priceless. Anyway, I took Dennis home with me instead. We definitely made use of those cuffs and that guy’s printed condom.”
She tells us these stories completely nonchalantly, as if she’s telling us about a mundane trip to the supermarket. We’re all giggling and shaking our heads. Aunt Cass never fails with her stories. Reagan loves them the most. Probably because she’s as close to carefree like Aunt Cass as any of us. “Aunt Cass, you’re my idol.”
Aunt Cass smiles. “Reagan, it takes a special woman to be like me. I think you have what it takes though.” They laugh together.
She turns to me. “Harley, are we still on for tomorrow?”
I narrow my eyes at her. “I suppose. Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”
She just gives me a trademark Aunt Cass smile. “No, I’m not. You’ll have to trust me.” Fat chance. “Meet me at 21stand Walnut at noon.”
I sigh. “Fine. I’ll see you then.”
* * *
The next dayI head down to 21stand Walnut to meet Aunt Cass. When I arrive, I see that Reagan and Skylar are with her. I shake my head. “I can only imagine what we’re doing here.”
They all grin, and they’re definitely conspiratorial grins. What have I gotten myself into? We turn into a shop called “The Pleasure Chest”. I’ve never heard of it. As we take a few steps inside, I realize exactly what it is. It’s sex toy shop. I turn to leave, but Aunt Cass grabs me. “Oh no you don’t. You’re coming in, and we’re loading you up.”
“No. I don’t need any of this. I definitely won’t use it.”
“Sweetheart, you most definitely need it. When was the last time you got laid?” I’m silent. I would be embarrassed to tell them how long it’s been. “Exactly. When is the last time you came?”
“Ummm…I don’t know. It’s been a while. We don’t need to discuss this. I’m not sure it’s really any of your business.”
“Of course, it’s my business, and exactly. It’s been a long while. That’s why you’re so uptight. You’re going to be studying all summer for your Boards. You need some stress relief. Reagan, Skylar, don’t you agree with me?”
They both immediately say, “Yes,” and nod enthusiastically.
I look at them. “How often is it normal to come? When was the last time each of you came?”
I don’t know why I bothered to ask. Aunt Cass and Reagan happily announce that it was last night for each of them. For Skylar, it was this morning. They all laugh, seemingly at my expense.
I sigh. “Fine, we can look around. I get final approval of all purchases though.”
Aunt Cass shakes her head. “No, you can pick one thing, but I’ll be picking the rest. I know the kinds of things you need.”
I cross my arms in disgust. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”
We walk all the way into the store. As soon as we do, the salesclerk comes up to us. “Hey Cassandra. Back so soon?” I can’t believe the salesclerk knows her by name.
“Hey Frankie. Yes. My friend Harley here is a bit uptight. She needs some of your magic. Load her up with all of the standards. Vibrator, handcuffs, lube, butt plugs…”
“Butt plugs? I’m not using that!”
Cassandra brushes me off with her hand. “All of that stuff please, Frankie. What are some special things that a really uptight person might need?”
Frankie looks around. “Hmmm. What about a remote-control bullet?”
“Yes, we’ll take that. What else?
“Excuse me. This is my body. What’s a remote-control bullet?”
Reagan rolls her eyes as if my naivety is a nuisance. “It’s a relatively small device you insert inside yourself. There’s a remote that controls the vibrations. You can use it, a partner can use it, or even I can use it.” She smiles at me.
