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Because suddenly all the taking care felt inadequate. And what he wanted felt like lots of different things he couldn’t quite figure out how to join up.
“You have me,” she said.
Yeah. He did. For now. And he didn’t really have much deeper trust in the universe than that.
It had never given him a reason to.
And looking at her...
Hell, she was either the reason, or she was a bait and switch.
And he didn’t know how to figure out which.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THENEXTDAY,Gus had promised to take her out on a ride with some of the horses they were preparing for therapy.
The air was starting to get a little bit cooler, but Alaina didn’t mind it. It gave her an excuse to swaddle herself in warmer sweaters. It was one thing to wear a little dress for the unseasonably warm fall days, and to wear one out, but they certainly wouldn’t be cutting it today, which had plunged them into a different season altogether.
So she was dressed for the weather, and feeling cute, with her hair in a braid and a wide-brimmed hat on her head.
She hoped that Gus thought she looked cute. He had been up and out before her today. And she couldn’t help but think back to last night. To what had happened on their date. He had been extremely put out by the fact that men were flirting with her. And then weird about the dancing. And she didn’t quite know why.
She also knew that he didn’t want to tell her. Just like he probably wouldn’t want to go into detail about reading stories to his brothers.
Oh well. They were married. And like she’d said last night, the problem was that they were still acting like two separate people, rather than a couple.
There had to be some kind of melding. She’d become certain of that last night.
And it was more than just sex.
More than just friendship.
She was looking for something deeper. And she didn’t even really have the words for it.
She walked down toward the barn, and started to jog, a little surprised when she felt an unexpected tension in her bladder.
She put her hand low on her stomach. Was that the baby? Added weight?
She hadn’t expected that.
She grimaced, supposing she had to accept these changes. And that she would need maternity clothes.
The idea made her feel depressed.
She hadjustbeen so excited about clothes.
But the idea of getting pants with a big stretchy panel did not appeal.
When she got down to the barn, Gus was already standing outside, with two horses tacked up and ready to go.
“Ready?”
“Yes,” she said, mounting the horse swiftly, easily, and immediately feeling a little more herself.
Maybe it was the crisp air, or the leaves beginning to turn. Maybe it was that her outfit went so well with all those things. Or maybe it was just being with him.
Either way, it was an instant mood boost.
