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“But she didn’t leave. You know where she is. You know where Alaina is.”
“You’re right,” Gus said. “I... I need her.” Admitting it felt like pushing broken glass into his own chest, and it was stopping short of the truth of it. But those words didn’t come easy, and he would be damned if he said them in front of Hunter before he said them to her. “Dammit. I need her and I... It makes me sick. Because...”
“You don’t want to be hurt.”
“No. And I don’t want to tell her... I don’t want to tell her.” He didn’t tell Hunter what. Because if it was that easy to tell the story, he would’ve done it a long time ago. But somehow, he could see that Hunter knew what he meant. He didn’t want to share that deep trauma. The real one. The one that made him feel ruined.
Because Hunter had his own version of that. Much the same way he was sure they all did.
“You have to, though. Because it’s the thing that breaks it all loose.”
“I’m not sure I want it all loose.”
“Well, that’s the thing. She sacrificed something. To demand everything of you. And now it’s your turn.”
And he felt like he’d sacrificed enough in his life. But he realized right then that for Alaina, he had to sacrifice more.
And he would.
“Quick,” Gus said. “Tell me how to be romantic.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
SHEWASWORKINGin the garden at Sullivan’s Point. And it was an interesting exercise. Considering it was a place she’d said she didn’t really want to be. A place she’d said she didn’t really want to work.
And here she was.
Working out all kinds of things.
She was happy to be here. With her sisters. And all right, maybe the pulling of weeds wasn’t exactly her best life, but it was better than...
Well, better than taking half.
Better than letting Gus settle for half.
Maybe. She wasn’t really sure yet. Considering all of the sadness in her body was like a ten-pound weight, constantly settled on her shoulders. And her bladder was being weird. Because there was a baby resting on that. And everything just felt kind of sad and strange and not at all what she wanted.
What a gift, to suddenly know for sure what she wanted. She wanted Gus to love her. She loved Gus.
She didn’t have Gus.
How nice for her.
She straightened and wiped her arm across her forehead. And put her hand on her stomach. “I guess it’s just you and me, little one. Except, I pretty much bet that no matter what, Gus is going to be your dad. Because he said he would.” Her eyes filled with tears. “And one thing I know about him, is that he’ll do what he says. That’s kind of the thing. He can’t say that he loves me because he’s afraid of what it means. And what it doesn’t mean. And he’s a man of his word. So, he takes all that stuff really seriously. Another man might have just said it. To smooth things over. To make me feel better. But not your dad.” Her throat went tight. Gus was this baby’s dad. She knew that. She was confident in it. Even if the two of them couldn’t work anything out...
“I’m not sure that I deserve so much confidence.”
She turned around, and looked beyond the fence that was there to keep the deer out, tall—very tall—because they were persistent, and there was Gus. Standing there with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing a tight black T-shirt that showed off his gorgeous physique, his cowboy hat pulled low over his eyes.
The handsomest man she had ever seen.
“Well. The last couple of days have been touch and go,” she said. “But I know the content of your character. So whether or not this is going the way I want... I have confidence in that.”
“After everything you’ve been through, to be able to have confidence in me says a lot about you. Not really quite so much about me. I’ve been... I’ve been an idiot.”
“Keep talking,” she said, tears pressing against the back of her eyes, her throat going tight. “Really. Please keep talking.”
She walked over to the fence, and he leaned against it. She curled her fingers around the wire, and he did the same, just that fence between them now.
