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This was a lot more complicated than he’d anticipated. A lot more involved.
Down to grocery shopping with her last night. He looked across the field and saw Elsie and Hunter, on their horses, talking to each other, looking...settled.
He wondered what his life would be like when they were all settled.
He supposed he was settled now. Well, and he had the kid to look after.
All of his life he’d had to look after the boys.
All of his life he felt an intense, fierce protectiveness over them.
Because he knew his parents wouldn’t protect them.
His mother couldn’t. She’d been way too beaten down by his father, and the thing was, Gus knew just how lethal the man was. Gus knew. He didn’t blame Hunter, even though Hunter blamed himself. That was just youngest-kid bullshit. He wasn’t here for it. Youngest kids always did that. Managing to make it all about them while trying to take all the guilt on board at the same time.
Useless. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but Seamus McCloud’s. He was a dick. And he was the only one that had to answer for the things that he’d done.
But the fact remained...he left a whole lot of broken people in his wake.
What he did wonder sometimes was whether their mother was still alive. Because Seamus was gone, and she could come back to see them...
The thought filled him with a strange sort of dread.
His mother hadn’t seen him since he’d been set on fire. She wouldn’t know him. Wouldn’t recognize him.
Wouldn’t think he was her beautiful boy or any of the things that she used to say to him.
Shit. Why was he thinking about his mom? It was this baby nonsense. He didn’t have time to sit around and ruminate.
And then he heard hooves, coming up hard and fast behind him, and he turned just in time to see Alaina riding fast down toward him. And for just a second...for just a second everything stopped. Her red hair was flying in the wind, and the look on her face was one of pure joy.
And she was coming toward him.
But then, she whipped right on past, turning the horse sideways and coming to a stop next to Hunter and Elsie. They started talking and laughing, and Gus gritted his teeth.
Yeah. That was about right. She hadn’t been coming toward him after all.
He urged his horse forward into a trot and came alongside the trio.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hi,” Alaina said, breathing hard, her eyes sparkling.
He knew it wasn’t for him. He was sure of it now. But that didn’t mean it didn’t make his chest do all kinds of strange and horrible things.
“You got up a little earlier today,” he commented.
“Yeah. I feel a little better.”
“Good.”
“So, lunch today?” Alaina asked, directing it at Elsie.
“Sure,” Elsie said, looking thrilled.
“I guess we are not invited to join the ladies who lunch,” Hunter said.
“I don’t want to go eat salads anyway,” Gus said.
