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There was a watery sound in the room, and he couldn’t help but look at the screen then. He couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. It was black and grainy, and didn’t mean a damn thing to him. “There are your ovaries,” the doctor said.
Well. Neat. So, he’d seen that now.
“Your uterus.”
Also that.
“And there is...” The doctor expanded something over the top of a little blurry movement, and zoomed in. “There’s a heartbeat. Yep, there’s a little one in there. Looks like nine weeks. And I’m just going to get some measurements on fluid.”
And all he could do was stare. At the little flutter of movement. A baby. Their baby.
Their baby.
They had decided that this was what they were doing. And the baby was theirs.
And he felt it.
When it was all finished, the doctor left and Alaina smiled ruefully. “I guess you might as well just stay in here and turn around while I get dressed. After that.”
She had a point. Though, she had no idea what it would do to him.
But he did it. Because...because.
He didn’t want to leave her.
And it was fine. Because he was resolute. He knew why he was doing this. He knew why they were doing this.
“Feels really real now,” she said, and he could hear the rustle of fabrics this time. The clothing.
And his gut went tight.
What the hell is wrong with you? She just had a whole medical thing done and you’re getting hard.
Yeah. He was. But he had never claimed to be a good person.
He was just one who was trying to do the right thing. Endlessly. And it was exhausting.
He was just so...he was so tired.
“Yeah,” he said. “Everything looks good, though. So that’s good.”
There was a long pause. “It is. Gus, it is. I honestly didn’t know how I would feel today. I was worried that I was going to be upset. One way or the other. That if everything was gone then... Well, then I wouldn’t know what I was supposed to do with my life now. But I was also worried that I might see the baby and not want it. But I do. I do want this. I’m getting to a place where I can feel maybe a little bit excited and a little bit happy. I don’t really know how to explain it. Except that I feel...like maybe I love it. I don’t even know how that’s possible.”
“How nature protects the species, I think,” he said.
“That is terribly realistic and unromantic,Angus,” she said.
“Well, Alaina, I am both of those things.”
“I’m done now. You can turn around.”
He did, and he wasn’t prepared. For the impact of just how beautiful she was, somehow different in the aftermath of what they’d just seen.
“Does it really matter why?” he asked.
“I’d like to think that it’s a mystical connection to my impending motherhood.”
“Then it can be. Why shouldn’t you be exactly what you wanted to be? Nobody has the answer. So I say it’s nature. You say it’s mystical. Why the hell not?”
