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She smiled, if very smally. “That’s almost open-minded.”
“I’m almost open-minded. Sometimes.”
“Is this...is this really weird for you?”
He stood there and looked at her. The most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life. Who might as well have been a hundred miles away and encased in glass for all that he couldn’t touch her.
“Yeah. It is. But I’ve got time.”
She looked away and was quiet for a long space of time. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I married you,” he said. “I married you, and I made a commitment. And I aim to keep it. I’m not my father, I won’t be. And I’m not your father. I stayed. I protect people. I will protect you. And I will protect this baby.”
“And be his dad. Really.”
“Yeah,” he said, the words scraping his throat raw. Because they’d talked about that, and they’d thrown the idea around, but it meant something more now that he’d seen the little life moving around inside of her.
And it would come out all helpless and small. Defenseless. And he made up his mind that he would always be there. Always.
“I don’t know if I’ll be a great dad, Alaina. I’ve got to be real honest with you. I didn’t have an example. Neither did you. We don’t really know what we’re doing. Kind of flying blind. But I’m willing to give it everything I have. And if there’s one thing I know I can do, it’s protect people who need it. The defenseless. The weak. I’m willing to go as far as I have to. So maybe I won’t be...the kind of world’s greatest dad that’s out there with great speeches and corny jokes, and whatever the hell else you’re supposed to do. But I’d go to the ends of the earth to keep that kid from harm. I swear that to you. I know how to muscle my way through anything. And you already know I’d walk through fire.”
He meant that. Every word.
She nodded, and her eyes were bright. And she said nothing.
“Come on. Let’s go.”
They scheduled her next appointment on the way out and he felt like there was something else he should do. Something else he should offer. He felt drawn to her, and he knew that he shouldn’t. Knew that he couldn’t be. And so he pulled away. Because that seemed like the lesser of the evils right then.
“We better head back to the ranch. There’s work to do.”
“Right. Hey, is it okay if I go to town and do some shopping? Just Pyrite Falls. Basic groceries. But we are a little depleted.”
“Yeah. You don’t have to ask me for time off. My brothers don’t. We all just collaborate. We divvy stuff up as it happens. Everyone’s pretty self-directed.”
“Okay. I just want to make sure that I’m not mooching.”
“We’re married,” he said. “This isn’t a transaction.”
He stared at her, hard, willing her to believe it. Willing her to understand it.
“Okay.”
“Good.”
CHAPTER NINE
SHESTILLFELTpretty shaken up, even after she and Gus had gone back to the house, and she had drifted up to her room to change and shower.
She had seen the baby.
The baby.
And Gus had made those fierce vows to her about being a good father. And she knew that he would be.
He’d held her hand. He’d stood right near her while... Well, that had been the furthest thing from intimate, really. It had been clinical.
And uncomfortable. But he’d been there through it.
