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He sat up, and looked at her. Her eyes were bright, her hair askew. She’d buttoned up the dress again, but it was crooked.
And she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“You think I don’t want you?” he rasped.
“Yeah. Because you laughed at me when I asked you about sex. And because you just...you just did that to me, and you left.”
“You...you foolish little termite,” he said, getting up out of the bed and making his way toward her. “Why the fuck do you think I give a damn about you and your baby? Why the fuck do you think I just lost it in a grocery store parking lot over a couple of pretty boys talking to you.Why the fuckdo you think I’ve done any of this, Alaina?” His voice was too rough and his words were too honest, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. To change it. “Because you think I’m sweet? You...” He was unraveling. He was at the end of himself. “You are a silly little horse girl who thinks that everyone can be tamed with a sugar cube. Well,I can’t. And I’m not doing any of this because I’m justso damned sweet. I have wanted you since you turned eighteen. Fresh and shiny on your birthday and the prettiest damn thing I’ve ever seen. I have wanted you for so damn long that I don’t remember what it’s like to be free of it.”
He shouldn’t be saying this. Not at all. He shouldn’t be letting himself get this close to losing his mind. But he was. Here he was.
And she just looked stunned. And he couldn’t blame her. Because this was a lot. And he was being awful.
He knew it too. But he couldn’t stop himself. Where was all that control? Where was it?
It was gone. He’d literally been set on fire, and it hadn’t burned his control away. Not all the way.
But Alaina Sullivan had done it. Alaina Sullivan had done it with her beautiful green eyes and perfect breasts and that glorious wet place between her thighs.
Yeah. She’d done it.
“I want you. And do you know where it’s going to lead? Straight to hell. Because that’s where I take people. Do you know what Iwanted? I wanted this to be what I promised you it would be. I wanted to pretend hard enough that I just wanted to take care of you, and I hoped that if I pretended well enough, eventually it would be true. But you know what, I just couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else having you. So I wanted to make you mine. And if I have to take care of a kid? Small price to pay. So yeah. That’s how sweet I am. I want you naked, and on your back, and begging for me. On your back, on your knees, whether that’s kneeling or bending over for me. That’s what I want. Because I might not be sweet, Alaina. Butyouare. The kind of sweet that I want to get my mouth on. All over. You know what my favorite thing to do is when I leave town?”
She was staring at him like a deer in the headlights. Frozen.
“I like to find a redhead. And I never ask her name. I don’t care.” The next words were pulled from deep, deep inside of him. “Because I’ve already given her one.”
“Don’t,” she said.
“What? Is that too much for you? Is it too much for you to know what a bastard I am? Sorry to ruin your fantasy.”
“No, don’t... Gus, that is... That’s cheap. Why would you fantasize about me while you were with another woman? Why would you do that toherorme?”
“Because I knew I couldn’t have you.”
“You could’ve had me. You idiot.”
“No. Don’t lie to yourself, honey. You like a pretty boy. You were fixated on Hunter, and then you were fixated onhim. And you were talking to those guys in the parking lot...”
“If I would’ve known, Gus... If I would’ve known...”
“Nothing. Because you’re a pretty young thing, and I am certainly not. We both know it. And you can rewrite it now that I’ve touched you, but we both know it’s a lie.”
“Well... I hate it. I hate the idea that you were with someone else and thought of me. It cheapens us both.”
It did. She was right. But a long time ago he’d accepted that for him sex and feelings would have to stay cheap. But it shamed him, looking at her now. With the truth of it between them.
“Where do we go from here?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Obviously, this isn’t going to work.”
And she just stood there, her green eyes trained on him. Then she grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it up over her head. So that she was standing there in just that white lace bra and matching panties. His breath left his body in a gust.
She started to walk toward him, kicking her shoes off as she went. “I don’t know where we go after tonight. But I know what’s going to happen now.”
“Alaina...”
