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I couldn't give in. It became my mantra.
"I love you. Josephine, please. . . " Stefan tried again, his voice cracking into a tortured sob.
"Save it for someone that cares," I spat at him over my shoulder. "Just fucking leave. "
The tension in the room grew heavier as I heard Stefan stand and cross the room and hesitate briefly in the doorway. I was tempted to look over my shoulder when I heard the door to my room close softly. I held my breath as I heard his car start and pull away from Anna's house, the tires squealing in his rush to leave.
The house was silent again and I let myself fall apart, sobbing into my pillow. I wanted to run after him and tell him not to leave, that I loved him and that I wanted him to stay. I knew it was too late to beg, although my pathetic mind and heart didn't care.
They wanted him too.
***
Waving, I watched as Anna's car disappeared down the driveway.
I'd stayed at her house for another day in seclusion when I finally realized I couldn't hide away in her house forever, even as tempting as the thought sounded.
I had to resume something that resembled a life and deal with the fallout with Stefan. He'd come back and I'd told him to stay out of my life. I couldn't risk letting him back in to hurt me again.
Standing alone in my driveway, my eyes glazed over as I remembered my conversation with Anna the morning after Stefan had barged into her house.
"Look Josie, I don't know what you're doing but I do know that man loves you," Anna said, her eyes sharp and probing. She tapped her fingernails against the wooden table. "I don't get in your personal life often and you know it. You're making a big mistake. Huge. "
I grimaced at her words. "I'm not going to be with someone that disappears for days with no explanation and then just walks back in, thinking I'm going to just be okay with that, Anna. Would you be okay with that?"
Her mouth twisted into a cynical smile. "No, but let's not turn this into what I'd do and wouldn't do. Your situation is different. He told me he had no choice. You should at least let him explain. "
"Are you new here? I don't want to hear it," I argued. "He chose to leave with no explanations. No phone calls, no note. Nothing, Anna. Maybe he had a fling with someone else and then felt guilty. I don't fucking know and I really don't want to find out. I'm not going through this over and over. A relationship with him isn't worth going through this. I don't do drama. "
Anna sipped her coffee silently. She nodded and reached over to pat my hand.
"I know you're hurting. Stefan is hurting too. You know and I know you can't avoid this forever. You love each other. " Her smile was gentle. "Don't let go of someone you love because you've decided to be a stubborn bitch. "
"I think we're done here, Anna. Don't you have to go to work?"
I drew in a deep breath as I snapped back to reality. Maybe it was time for me to move on from Bali and make a fresh start. How could I even think about starting over when I'm still in love with an immortal vampire?
Squaring my shoulders, I walked slowly up the steps to unlock the door to my house. I opened the door hesitantly, walking in and closing the door quietly behind me. I pressed my back against the smooth wood and felt tears sting my eyes. This was going to be the hardest part. I was going to see the ghost of Stefan in every corner and see a memory of him in every room. I bit my lip, wondering how I was going to find the strength to do this.
Dropping my bags by the couch, I forced myself to do menial tasks to keep my mind occupied. I ran the vacuum, dusted and scrubbed the counter tops. I went to the dryer to grab the clean sheets, making quick work of smoothing them over my bed.
I was pulling up the comforter when I noticed a sliver of something white under the table by the bed. It was the corner of a piece of paper and was barely visible unless you really concentrated on looking at it. I bent over to pick it up and my hands shook when I saw the familiar, elegant handwriting on the paper.
Josephine-
>
I know I should wake you, however you are sleeping so beautifully that I cannot bear to disturb you. I must fly to New York to deal with emergency Council business. I will be back as soon as possible. I promise to explain everything in detail when I return.
Eternally yours,
Stefan
The note slipped from my fingertips and my eyes blankly watched the paper flutter to the floor. For a moment, I was frozen in place and my mind went completely numb. I shook myself and wildly ran the length of the hallway, fumbling with my purse to find my phone. I somehow managed to dial his number with shaking fingers.
"You have reached Stefan Lifsten. Leave a message after the tone. "
"Stefan. It's Josie. Please call me. I'm sorry. Please. . . call. . . " I choked into the phone. "I. . I just found your note. I. . I didn't know. I'm so stupid. So very fucking stupid. "
