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Her bump looks bigger today in her fitted sweater and leggings than it did yesterday, probably because she doesn’t bother hiding it from anyone here.
When that little girl ran up to her and put her hands gently on her belly like she had done it hundreds of times before, I was jealous.
Jealous of a three- or four-year-old kid because they get to touch what I yearn for whenever they want, while I may never have the chance to lay a hand on her again.
I know Holly won’t be ready to forgive me yet, but I’m not going to give up. I’ll keep coming back, keep trying, no matter how long it takes.
Hell, I don’t even think she’ll agree to speak to me since I know she saw me, but she’s refused to come near.
Another teacher spots me and calls all the kids inside. She was probably ready to call the cops until Holly spoke to her. And when the kids and the teacher are gone, she finally starts walking in my direction.
And I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t move because I’m afraid she’ll tell me to leave and never come back.
For all I know, she could already be with someone else, could be happy with some asshole who gives her everything I told her I couldn’t.
“What are you doing here, Isaac?” she asks, stopping far enough away to cross her arms over her chest and remain out of my reach.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I just…I needed to see you. Put me out of my misery, Holly. Tell me…tell me that’s my baby.”
Her lips part in surprise like I’ve already said the wrong thing. “Tell you…you want it to be yours?”
“Hell yes, I do. But if it’s not…if it’s not, then I can still love him or her. I’ve done it before. I promise you I can do it again.”
Her brow furrows. Not a good sign. “What do you mean again?”
Oh. That. “Lyla never told you?” I ask in surprise.
“Told me what?”
“Jesus,” I groan as I take a step away from the fence to scrub my hands down my face. This isn’t the conversation I wanted to have here. Hell, I never wanted to have it. But I can’t escape it any longer. Lowering my hands, I face Holly again and tell her the truth. “I’m not Lyla’s biological father.”
She shakes her head. “What? She never told me,” she whispers softly.
“Don’t be angry with her. She only found out a few months ago, right before she ran off to Georgia. It’s-it’s been tough for her. I never wanted her to find out the truth. I tried my best to love her so much she wouldn’t ever know. Tried so hard that I think I love her more than my own flesh and blood. Laurel…you know how Laurel can be. She got all my stubbornness, my ruthlessness. But Lyla, she’s nothing but good and sweet like her mother, which is why it was impossible not to love her. I’ll love yours too, Holly. Just tell me the truth. Please.”
She nods and lowers her eyes, her crossed arms rubbing her palms over her swell. “He’s yours, Isaac. Of course he’s yours.”
“He’s mine?”
She nods again. Thank god.
“We’re going to have a son?”
Holly gives a small smile before the tears fall. “We are.”
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me before?”
The sadness quickly turns to anger. “You know why! I was scared. You can be really scary. I knew you didn’t want a relationship or to be a father again. Letting you off the hook, it’s what I thought you would prefer. I didn’t want you to be with me out of obligation, and I didn’t think I could handle you rejecting me, us, again.”
“I never want you to think I rejected you, sweetheart. I was trying to do the right thing by you. By Lyla.”
“Because you didn’t want a future with me or want anyone to find out about us.”
“No. Because I didn’t think I deserved someone good like you. But yeah, I wasn’t sure my old ass could even give you the future you wanted so badly.”
“Well, obviously, you still can. You’re not that old.”
Chuckling, I tell her the truth. “You make me feel like an idiot teenager who has never been in love before and makes stupid mistakes,” I admit to her. “You have no idea how hard it was to walk away. How much I’ve regretted that decision more than any other. I didn’t want Lyla to find out and hate me, but more than that, I realized I was in love with you, and it scared the shit out of me. I lost the last woman I loved because I ruined her life. I failed her. I didn’t want to ruin yours too.”
