AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Who?” I say, flipping mindlessly through the papers.
He sighs. “Don’t play dumb, Luke. Layla. She likes you. And you obviously want to join in, so…”
“I don’t,” I cut him off. “You’re being ridiculous. I’m ten years older than the girl. I used to be her teacher.”
“Yup,” Zack says unhelpfully. “That’s pretty hot. Bet she had a schoolgirl crush on you. Bet she wrote your name all over her notebooks in class…”
My stomach twists. I slap the papers back down onto the desk with too much force. “Yes,” I emphasise. “A schoolgirl crush. Because when I was a married adult with a full-time job, she was a teenage girl. I’m not going to kiss her, that’s disgusting.”
Zack’s face darkens. “She’s not a teenage girl anymore, dumbass. She’s a woman. She’s pushing thirty. She’s your friend. She wants help, and we’re giving it to her. Quit acting like we’re doing something wrong because of your weird guilt complex.” He slams out of the room, leaving me standing alone, my head reeling.
***
TRANSCRIPT
***
THREE SINGLE GUYS EPISODE 444: A BAD FIRST IMPRESSION
LUKE: Hey everybody, and thanks for tuning in to this episode of Three Single Guys. First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who has left us a review or shared our latest episode on social media. We didn’t expect this segment would turn out so popular, but we’re thrilled.
LAYLA: (Blows a kiss into the microphone) You’re welcome, boys.
JOSH: This week was the first week of our Fake Date Experiment, and Zack and I took Layla on our first date together. It was… interesting.
LUKE: How do you think the date went?
JOSH: Oh, she’s even worse than we expected.
LAYLA: It can’t have been that bad. I still got a goodnight kiss.
ZACK: Aye, because you’re pretty. I just stared at your face and tried to ignore what your mouth was saying.
LAYLA: Huh. I wondered why you didn’t respond when I called you an arrogant prick. It all makes sense now.
JOSH: It turns out, Layla’s main issue is a pretty common one. Like many of us, she tends to treat dates like job interviews. Just like when we’re applying for a new job, we try to make the other person like us by acting how we think they want us to be, and hiding our weaknesses. We stress over how we’re being perceived so much we come across unnatural and forced.
ZACK: Aye. See, I find dating easy, ‘cause I assume everyone likes me.
LAYLA: (whispers) Arrogant prick.
JOSH: He is, yes, but he’s also right in this case. Dating isn’t about making people like you. It’s about working out whether you like them.
ZACK: And remember, when they don’t like you, it says nothin’ about you as a person. You just don’t have chemistry. Unlike me and Layla, who cannot be in a room together for longer than five minutes without causing a fire.
LUKE: Because you’re… arsonists?
ZACK: Because we have a spark. Duh.
LAYLA: Oh, honey, we talked about this. I know you like sticking your fingers into things, but you’ve got to stop fiddling with the plug sockets, it’s not safe.
JOSH: (Ignores them) The next time you’re on a first date, skip the small talk and cut to the chase. You want to know what makes them tick. So be honest. Tell them what your flaws are, and see whether they rise to the occasion. If you let go of your own defences, nine times out of ten, the other person will drop their walls too.
ZACK: And then, hopefully, their knickers.
LAYLA: Gosh, Zack. That’ll be something for me to look forward to.
***
