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But right now, I’m reaching desperately for something to say, and nothing is coming to mind. I stare at Donny, my throat tightening as he smirks back down at me. Memories from my time at high school flash in front of my eyes like a movie.
Girls whispering behind their hands about me as I walk down the hallway to class.
Boys grabbing me and trying to yank me onto their laps on the bus.
Teachers sharing knowing looks as I traipse into the headmistress’s office for the fifth time in a week.
I shudder, trying to take in a breath. I feel sick. I feel so, so sick. My hands are shaking. My heart is pounding.
Donny leans closer, eyes fixed on my chest. “Jesus Christ, you can see your nips through this. You know that, right?” He swipes at the front of my shirt. I bat his hand away, and he grins like a shark. “God, you’ve filled out since we were together, haven’t you? Did you get your boobs done?”
“We were never together,” I say.
“Yeah?” He rubs his chin. “‘Cuz I’m pretty sure I remember you dragging me into the changing rooms to whack me off—”
All of the blood drains out of my face. There’s a ringing in my ears. My body is paralysed, caught between the urge to run, and the urge to lash out and gouge his stupid eyeballs out with my fingernails. Donny’s grin widens as he leans in again, and I just close my eyes, freezing in place.
A heavy hand lands on my shoulder. “What is going on here?” A low voice comes from above me.
I look up at Luke standing behind me. His face is white with anger as he studies my expression. “Are you okay?” He asks quietly, and I nod.
Donny looks up, and the laughter drains from his face. “M-Mr Martins.” He stutters.
Luke turns his steely gaze on him. His lips press together. “Donald. How nice to see you again.”
“Uh. Yeah. You too, Mr M.” Donny rubs the back of his neck, frowning at Luke’s hand on me. “Uh. Why are you hanging out with Tuggy?” His eyes widen. “Holy shit. Are you two on a date?”
Luke drops his hand like I’ve burned him. “Tuggy?” He repeats. “What the Hell does that mean?”
Hearing that word from his lips snaps something inside me. I stand up, sliding off my stool like a zombie, and head to the exit, pushing through the crowds of rowdy patrons. Shoving the bar’s back door open, I step out into the black night air, sinking onto the pavement and wrapping my arms around my knees.
Cars rush past on the road. Cold evening drizzle mists over me.Tears blur my eyes.
This was a bad idea. Trying to date means putting yourself out there. Which means making yourself vulnerable. I put my face in my hands, trying to breathe.
A few minutes later, the door behind me opens. Noise from the bar washes out into the street. I don’t move as Luke steps outside and shuts the door behind him, setting a can of cola on the stone step next to me.
“Drink it,” he says quietly. “The sugar will help.”
“I don’t need help,” I mutter.
“No?” He asks mildly, looking down at me as I shiver. “Well. It can’t hurt.” He toes the can closer to me.
All of the embarrassment burning inside me suddenly twists to white-hot anger. I don’t know why Luke is so obsessed with seeing me when I’m weakest, but it’s really starting to piss me off.
“For God’s sake,” I snap. “Can you please just leave me alone?”
My hard voice echoes around the empty street. There’s a pause, and then Luke sits down next to me. “No,” he says softly. “No, Layla. I’m not leaving you alone out here when you’re upset.”
I close my eyes, dragging in a shuddering breath.
Fine.
I take another deep breath and pull myself together.
***
THIRTY-ONE
