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“Because this is humiliating.”
“Did I do anything to make you think I was laughing at you?” he asks.
“No.”
“Have I made fun of anything you’ve said?”
“No.”
“Then it’s only humiliating in your head,” he says. “Sometimes you just have to say what’s on your mind, consequences be damned.”
“That’s just it,” I counter. “I don’t know anything other than the consequence of my soul being damned to Hell.”
Dip stiffens, and his jaw tics. “Who the fuck said you were going to Hell?”
“Everyone.” I take a few deep breaths. “For as long as I can remember, if I didn’t do things just right, or I went against my parents or the church or Michael, I was told that eternal damnation was my fate.”
“Michael the husband?” I nod. “Bastard’s lucky he’s already dead,” he bites out.
I sputter a laugh. “What?”
“Look, I’ve done some shitty stuff in my life.” He points to the patch on his leather vest. “I’m in a one-percenter MC so that shouldn’t be all that surprising. And I’m okay with the shit I’ve done. But you…” Dip shakes his head. “I don’t buy for a fucking second that you could ever do anything that would send you to Hell. And anyone who made you think otherwise is a piece of garbage.”
“But you don’t even know me.”
“All a man has to do is look at you and know you’re pure good, through and through.”
And that’s the problem.
I chew on the inside of my cheek, and Dip grins. “Spit out whatever’s in that pretty head of yours.”
“What if…” I sigh. “What if I don’t want to be good? What if I want to just be me, whatever that looks like?”
“Then be you,” he says.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t even know who I am. I’ve spent my entire life living for other people, doing what’s expected of me. Shit, I didn’t even know what kind of pizza I liked until today.”
Dip’s grin spreads. “You just swore.”
I think back to what I said and realize he’s right. “So?” I say stubbornly.
“It felt good, didn’t it?”
“Maybe.”
“Foul words sound good coming from this mouth.” Dip runs his thumb over my bottom lip, and my stomach clenches at his touch. “I think I wanna hear a whole lot more come outta this mouth.”
“You… you do?”
He nods. “Tell me how I can teach you how to live, Kennedy.”
Dip’s voice is deep, commanding, and makes my toes curl.
Take a deep breath, I spit out the first thing that comes to mind. “I wanna learn how to have sex.”
