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“Okay.”
“I’m gonna need you to trust me.”
“I’m having this conversation with you. I feel like that shows the level of trust I have.”
“Or you’re just putting on a brave face because you think slumming it with a bad boy will somehow ease the pain of whatever shit you’ve been through.”
Wow.
“Dip, I’ve been told my entire life how to act, what to eat, what to say, and how to dress. I’ve been taught that anyone who doesn’t go to church three times a week or subscribe to the same beliefs shoved down my throat for as long as I can remember is bad,” I explain. “You’re right that you’d be considered bad. But I ran from the life that taught me that, and I have no interest in returning. I might have been forced to think one way, but that doesn’t mean that I believe it was the right way. I’m not judging you by the clothes you wear or the lifestyle you live, so please don’t judge mine up until this point.”
“Good answer.”
“It’s the truth. Lying is one thing I have no interest in learning how to do. You’ll always get the truth with me.”
“Always?”
“Yes.”
“Why me?” He arches a brow. “And remember, you just said you’d always be honest.”
“Because you are the exact opposite of my old life. Because Jenny seems to think you’re a good man, and she’s the only friend I’ve got, so I’m trusting her. And because…”
“Because?” he prods.
“Because I’m very attracted to you, and even though that scares me, I want to be scared. I want to test my limits. I want to push the boundaries of polite society. I want to fucking live.”
Dip growls. “God, that’s hot.”
“I’m glad you think so,” I quip. “I need this, Dip. And here’s another kernel of honesty for you. If you say no, I’ll find someone else who will say yes.”
“The fuck you will,” he snarls.
“Yeah, I will. Because I need this. For me to be whole, for me to beme… Ineedthis.”
The longer I stand here with him, the more confident I feel. The more we interact, the less I question my sanity. The need to figure out this thing called life becomes all that matters.
And for some strange reason, the soul I’ve tried so hard to keep pure is screaming at me that only Dip can help me do that.
Only Dip can dirty me up without damning me to Hell.
“We’re doing this,” he says, heat in his tone. “And I promise you, by the time you feel whole, the thought of ending ourarrangementwill leave you feeling very empty.”
Chapter11
Dip
“What took you so long?”
I push past Snow and Duck, making my way to the bar at the clubhouse. After the conversation I just had, I need a fucking drink.
“Dip, Prez asked you a damn question,” Duck barks, both of them hot on my heels.
“I need a goddamn minute,” I snap, heading straight behind the bar to get my own shot.
Little Man watches me intently as I pour myself a double shot of Jack Daniels and slam it back. He looks like he wants to say something, but he wisely keeps his mouth shut.
“What the fuck happened after we left?” Snow demands, no longer showing any restraint when it comes to getting answers.
