AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Why do I believe him?
It’s hard not to. I feel him in all of these different memories of my life. He could have just gotten rid of me. His life would have been so much easier if he had. Instead, my life became his.
I bite on my lip as I lather the lotion he bought me onto my skin. Afterwards, I get dressed in my simplest gray sundress, needing to feel like myself, and I grab my backpack off the floor.
My textbooks suddenly feel all too heavy on my back. Rowan bought me these. He bought me... almost everything.
I’ve been dependent on him this entire time and hadn’t even known it was him.
Taking a breath, I head out and walk the couple of blocks it takes to get to school. Criminology 101 is a required course twice a week. Talking about criminals and crime scenes will help settle my mind for a bit.
That’s so fucked up.
Still, my nerves are eased the moment I’m in my seat, notebooks and textbook out, pen poised to take notes.
Someone jostles down the aisle and plops into the seat next to mine. My gaze turns, and I’m greeted with a warm smile and a whole lotta mustache.
“Hey,” Simon greets.
A sudden pang of guilt grips me as I look at him and feel... absolutely nothing. There’s no spark, no rush of blood to my cheeks. My body doesn’t warm at his proximity. He really doesn’t do a thing for me. Not like Rowan did.
I feel bad. Like I just wasted the poor guy’s time.
And God, just imagine how bad I’d feel if Rowan drop-shipped this poor guy’s cock to my doorstep just to claim what’s his like a fucking feral animal. I keep my features vacant as the memory of that sentimental little threat flashes through my mind.
“Hi,” I manage to whisper.
“How are you feeling? I was worried about you after the party. You didn’t look so good. You get home okay?”
Another flash of my orgasm shaking through me as Rowan pins me with just his hand wrapped around my throat.
“Mmmyesmmfine.”
“What was that?”
I clear my throat. “I got home fine, thank you. I’m good.”
Fucking great. Thanks.
“You sure?”
He reaches a hand out to press against my forehead like he’s feeling for a fever. This time, when I flinch, it’s not because I’m afraid of his touch. It’s because a shiver slides down my spine in fear that someone might be watching, and I bet Simon is really attached to his dick, and I just don’t want to be responsible for that kind of loss.
Simon lowers his hand, a furrow between his brows. I’m lucky he doesn’t get to say anything else because Mr. Morrison walks in and class begins.
For an hour or so, I’m drowned in the absolute bliss of schoolwork. Getting back into the groove of this routine was difficult after being at the institution. It was like learning how to be normal all over again. Learning how to care and listen and focus. The most basic of things had become a chore for me at one point until I got the hang of it again. Until I liked learning again.
I loved school. And I’m so happy that enjoyment from something so simple came back to me after it went missing for so long.
When class ends and my fingers are perfectly cramped, I hurry and shove everything into my bag.
“Where are you headed after this?” Simon trails after me with ease, walking side by side. His hand grazes mine, and that consuming guilt only feels worse.
I’m a garbage person. Assign my seat in hell already.
He’s still riding the high from our weird date yesterday. From that almost kiss. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about someone else entirely.
This isn’t fair to Simon, and I need to let him down gently. Something I am decidedly not good at.
