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I lower my voice. “Will you tell me about him?”
There’s a moment of silence, and we just glide around. My own fear is forgotten as I’m lost in the void of sadness in his eyes. For a moment, I think he won’t answer until he finally does.
“My dad was my everything.” His voice is soft, and yet it still echoes around the empty arena, creating an eerie backdrop of music almost. “He loved hockey. Played it professionally, was in the NHL...” There’s a brief pause as he gathers his thoughts. “He taught me everything he knew from the moment I was old enough to fit into skates.”
There’s something about the tone of his voice that lets me know that this story? It doesn’t have a happy ending. Though most stories don’t, and anyone who thinks they’ll get one is deluding themselves.
The world is a cruel place, and Rowan’s next words only further prove that.
“He got sick when I was eleven. Cancer.” He swallows and pulls me further along the ice. “The doctors caught on to it too late. He died only a few months after finding out.”
My fingers dig into his forearms, and I take a deep breath. I can hear the pain in his voice like it’s a tangible thing. A part of me wants to take that sorrow, let it consume me. If only so he doesn’t have to feel it. I’m used to the sadness though. It has followed me my whole life, become such an integral part of me that I know I could shoulder it. For the both of us.
“I’m sorry.” The words won’t help, but I want him to know that I mean them. Completely.
“My mother remarried before his body was even cold and in the ground.” He turns sharply, and my legs almost give out from beneath me. I gasp, gripping onto him. Once we’re straightened out again, my gaze darts up to his.
“I take it you don’t like your stepdad?”
“Let’s just say he’s... an asshole.”
“Well, I know what it’s like to have a shitty parent in your life.” I chuckle, but he doesn’t echo the sound. His gaze looks far away. Like he’s retreated somewhere deep in his mind.
I don’t want to lose him to his thoughts.
I wonder if I’ve completely ruined our date with this talk.
Time for a change of subject.
“So, did you really know I was following you the whole time last week?”
It’s not the smoothest way to change topics, but I’ll take it. Last week, we didn’t do much beyond skate, both of us comfortable in each other’s silence. And when he walked me home afterwards, I almost expected him to come inside. For something between us to happen. But he didn’t touch me. He said his goodbyes and disappeared.
To visit the mysterious texter?
I hadn’t the energy in me at the time to follow him again, especially since I’d have been easily found out. In the days that followed, he kept me occupied with more dates, more gifts, and I wonder if he’s trying to scrub my mind of suspicion. In doing so, he just makes me even more suspicious of him and his motives. It’s funny, though, how it all goes out the window when we’re in our own little moment. In a bubble where nothing and nobody can hurt us.
His attention draws back to me, and his lips twitch. “Yes.”
Damn. I guess I’m not as sleuth-y as I thought. Is that a word? I don’t think that’s a real word, but I’m using it anyway. It’s also a reason I haven’t had the guts to follow him again, no matter how much my insides burn and urge me to do so.
“How did you know?”
“I figured you would when you broke into my phone.”
I jolt, my legs crisscrossing beneath me. Rowan rights me before I can fall on my ass. When he does, I can feel my face flushing.
“How did you know about that?” I demand. The audacity I currently carry is probably hilarious, considering it’shisphone and I broke into it. Though, in the grand scheme of things, what I did is small. I broke into his phone. He broke into my entire life.
“All the unread messages from the puck bunnies were suddenly marked as read.”
Dammit!
I really am a terrible spy.
My face heats, and I try to pull away, but Rowan only tugs me closer until our chests touch. Then his hand is cupping the underside of my jaw, tilting my face up to his. Finally, finally, his lips curl up into a slow smile.
“Don’t go digging into places if you don’t want to find the answers, Little Bird.”
