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“Oh, that’s just my friend, Alex,” I said. “This is Macy,” she explained.
“Excuse me,” I said, standing to my feet. “I’ve gotta be going.”
“Okay. I’ll see you next week.”
“Sure.”
I walked out of there and went back downstairs. I got into my car and I was driven away. The whole time I didn’t think, just stared straight ahead.
Stared straight ahead, and tried not to think about the little girl, and her clear blue eyes, that resembled mine so closely.
Chapter 9
Lola
ThatweekendIfelthappy, for the first time in a long time. I played with Macy, and we went out with Sara to the park. On Saturday, I treated her to pancakes for breakfast, and cooked an enormous bowl of spaghetti carbonara in my kitchen for Sara, her uncle Sebastien and her son, Raul. It had been so long since I’d had the money to have people over for dinner, and Macy and I made a real occasion of it. I dressed her in a princess dress and she and Raul sat playing with their toys. And that evening, I put Macy to bed, and played Frank Sinatra on my stereo, and relaxed with a glass of wine. What had come over me?
I knew, deep down, that it was Alex. Something about him had made me alive and alert to the world. His kindness hadn’t gone unnoticed. I couldn’t forgive him for his past actions—for leaving me and Macy when we both needed him. But now that they’d been in the same room, it felt easier somehow to separate them. Alex had seemed so uncomfortable, so awkward at Macy’s presence that I knew he could never be a father—had no interest in being one. It made it easier to let go, for now, anyway.
The next week, I went into work, cheerier than usual. I was happily humming away a Cole Porter tune as Andy and I worked the bar. And I looked up every time the door opened, checking if it was Alex.
Eventually, he came in, and I waved at him. He waved back, and for a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer of a smile play on his lips. He sauntered over casually.
“How are things?” he said.
“Pretty good,” I said. “We’re running a little low on our French stock. I’d like to see Pierre next week with Andy, so we can pick up some new stuff?”
“That’s good,” he said. “Any time you see a problem like that coming, you go for it. I know you’ll manage.”
I felt warm and fuzzy receiving his praise, but tried not to let it show.
“I, uh, wanted to thank you for last week,” I said.
“There’s no need,” he said.
We stood in silence for a little while, and I wiped the bar.
“Are you free on Thursday night?” said Alex, quietly. He kept his eyes trained on Andy, who was around the other side of the bar, out of earshot.
“Well, Icanbe,” I said. “Why? You need me to come in?”
“No,” said Alex. “No. I was wondering if you’d like to do something.”
“What?” I said, surprised.
“You know. Go out. Or…maybe, just get something to eat?”
“Something to…eat?” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Like a date?”
“Not a date, no. Just…as friends.”
“We’re friends now?” I said skeptically.
“Sure we are.”
