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Because Alex hadn’t woken up yet.
When Luca had gone over the side, Alex had gone with him. Luca was handcuffed to a bed in a different hospital somewhere. He was medicated out of his mind, but O’Rourke mentioned to me in the hallway that there was enough evidence to put him away for good.
“Charges against your husband will be dropped in the morning,” he told me gravely. “And I’d like to apologize on behalf of the NYPD for everything we’d put him through.”
“He’s not my husband,” I sighed.
“That’s not the kind of thing you want to say to me, Mrs. Lowe,” he said, as he walked away. “But I’ll be in touch, nonetheless.”
As a matter of fact, he wasn’t. I didn’t see Russell O’Rourke ever again.
Speaking of people who’d run off, Max had made himself scarce after we got out of the building. He’d slipped away and (unbelievably) stolen Alex’s car and driven off. I guess he knew that if anyone was getting arrested besides Luca, it would be him.
So I went upstairs to a private room at the top of the hospital. Outside in the darkness, I could see the lights of Brooklyn shining somewhere in the distance. I went down a long corridor, at the end of which was a police escort. They were keeping a close eye on Alex’s room, knowing as they did that Luca’s cronies weren’t locked up yet.
“I’m, uh, Mrs. Lowe,” I said.
“Of course. Come through, ma’am,” said one of the two cops. They stepped aside, and I passed into a white room.
And there he was. Looking handsome, looking peaceful. Alex’s sharp chin was dug into his chest, and his dark hair was tangled and matted in the bed, still soaked with sweat. But when I came by his side and knelt down at the bed, I could smell his scent, and that was the worst of all.
“I wanted to come by,” I said. They say that people in comas or who just won’t wake up can hear you talking. I prayed that was true.
I wanted you to come by,I imagined him saying to me. Funny how now, when I saw things, I kept hearing Alex’s voice, wondering what he’d say about them.
“First of all, I guess I wanted to say I’m angry with you,” I said, and laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. “Because you put yourself in danger,” I said. “You put yourself in so much danger.”
So did you.
“But you didn’t have to, Alex,” I said. “I had to. But not you. You could have walked away.”
She’s my daughter too, I imagined him saying.
How had I gone all these years without telling him? And how had I not remembered what I’d written down on a birth certificate one fateful evening, when, just like now, I was tired and exhausted in a hospital room?
“I’m glad you knew before the end,” I said, and I felt tears welling up inside of me.
Me too.
“Only, there’s something I needed to tell you, and now…” I sobbed. “Now I don’t know if I will. So please wake up, Alex. Please just wake up.” I bowed my head.
“I love you,” I told him. I’d known it for so long now. Maybe since forever. And maybe it didn’t matter.
If only he’d wake up and tell me the same thing.
I love you too.
“I love you too,” whispered a familiar, dark voice.
And I looked up, into pale, blue eyes that were shining at me.
Chapter 30
Alex
Ipracticallyleftheroff balance when I leaped from the shower and kissed Lola. But then, as I cradled her, with nothing but a towel around my waist, she put a hand knowingly to her lips. And then I remembered that Macy was fast asleep.
“It’s three walls of soundproofed insulation,” I said.
