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Jessica was startingto feel very aware of Matt’s presence beside her now. She was feeling like an overinflated balloon on the inside but remained calm on the surface. She didn’t know what to think of the fact that Matt was actually very sweet. A fact that she was slowly but steadily coming to realize. When she was slightly shivering, she didn’t even know anyone could notice since it was so subtle, but Matt noticed, and the way he got the blanket and tucked her feet inside was something Jessica was not expecting at all. It made her feel all fluttery inside, like a young high school girl watching her crush and getting a glance from him. A small ember of hopefulness lit up inside her that made her think that maybe she could learn to enjoy this new life of hers.
She looked out the window again, immersed in countless thoughts. It had only been a few days of this situation. It had been less than a week since she walked down the aisle to marry Spencer, only to find it empty. She remembered the looks on the faces of her family and friends, so full of pity. It was as if they weren’t even surprised. Jessica couldn’t decide which hurt more, the fact that she was the only one completely clueless or how her friends and family felt so sorry for her. She felt so humiliated, so betrayed, so wronged, and so unfairly treated. She had thought she loved Spencer, though now she didn’t even think she knew him anymore. She only knew a fake picture of him inside her head. Even though she could see that not marrying Spencer was what saved her from a life of misery, she couldn’t ignore the price she had to pay for it—humiliation and heartbreak. She was hurt, and she couldn’t do anything to help it. It didn’t matter that she told herself that this was the only good outcome because it still hurt like hell, thinking that she could have been so utterly blind to a person for so many years while everyone around her saw through his façade. She felt stupid and worthless. Maybe it was because she was disappointed in herself that it hurt more. It probably would have hurt less if she could blame it all on someone else.
Her life had taken such a sharp turn that it would take her a long time to wrap her head around it—how she had impulsively decided to go on her pre-planned honeymoon alone, how she had seen the casino and instantly gone on to gamble without hesitation and without looking back, and how that decision was the stupidest one in her life that had led her to lose all her life savings and jeopardize her life. That had given Matt the chance to offer her his indecent proposal of marrying him to pay back the gambling debt, and it was interesting how she had rejected him at first but then got arrested by what she thought was the police, which turned out to be Matt’s security instead.
Looking back at this memory, Jessica rolled her eyes, but her lips perked up a little in an amused smile. It had already been stored in her mind as a funny incident at her own expense. She also thought about how she finally accepted his proposal after failing to find any other solution. He was someone she knew nothing about, but he had saved her life after all. It was marriage to him or being locked up in jail for probably the rest of her life, given the amount of debt she’d piled up.
What a crazy turn of events! Is this really my life now?
Jessica looked out the window again. They were over a lake right then. The morning sun made the water sparkle like some kind of portal to another world. The view was astounding, and she felt like she could get lost in it. If this was a normal day in her life, she probably would have brought a book with her and done some reading while sipping coffee, but this wasn’t a normal day in her normal life. Her new life didn’t seem normal at all. She was grateful to Matt for saving her, but she realized she needed time to ease into it. There were just too many changes in too short of a time.
25
“Matt! Matt…Spencer? What is he doing here?… I can’t see clearly. Everything is so blurry.”
Jessica was under attack. Someone was chasing her through the aisles of a plane that seemed to stretch on forever. All the seats were filled with people, but they didn’t have any faces. They were like nameless mannequins of the same shape and size, just positioned on the seats as placeholders. Jessica was creeped out and couldn’t find her husband. He was right there one second, but come the next, he was nowhere to be seen. That’s when she noticed one of those faceless people in the seats get up and approach her with intent. It looked familiar, but she couldn’t figure out who it was. All she knew, all she felt in her bones, was that she had to run away from him. Her vision was blurred around the edges, and she could only focus on one thing at a time. It was like walking through a thick liquid. She felt like she was heavily drugged and struggled to stay awake, like that one time when she was seven and had to get a molar pulled out. She hated this feeling, not being able to use her senses to the fullest, and she was scared because she was alone in a plane full of people. She ran and ran, but the aisle never ended. It repeated itself periodically like the horizon of a low-budget video game. She noticed with horror that it was Matt’s private jet going on forever. The beautiful scenery she had been looking at just a moment ago was now dull, gray, and looked depressing. That’s when she spotted someone else in front of her—it was Matt. She screamed out his name and ran faster toward him, but he was always out of reach. At the same time, she wasn’t sure if it was Matt. For a second, it looked like Spencer. She was confused, scared, and still running from her assailant. Her feet were getting tired, but the aisle was never-ending… until the person chasing her finally caught up to her and -
Jessica jerked awake. She broke out into a cold sweat. Matt’s eyes came into view as he brought his concerned face closer to her and asked her if she was alright. She nodded and gratefully took the paper towel he handed over to her. She hadn’t realized when she dozed off, but that was a nightmare she was having. Jessica was glad that she was awake now.
What was that all about? I must be too stressed. The turmoil of the last few days is finally catching up to me.
“Were you having a nightmare?” Matt asked, still sounding concerned, and handed her a bottle of water.
Jessica opened the bottle cap, gulped down a mouthful of water, and said, “Yes. I didn’t realize when I drifted to sleep.”
“I didn’t wake you because you looked tired. After all, you didn’t get much sleep in the last few days.”
“No, I know. Thanks.”
Matt called over Natalie.
“Would you like something to drink? Coffee?” he asked turning back to Jessica.
“No, I’m fine, but maybe some cool apple juice,” she replied.
Natalie nodded and rushed off to the end of the aisle. Jessica looked around the jet again.
Yes, it was definitely this very same plane in my dream but stretching on and on.
Before the nap, Jessica felt moderately peaceful at that moment, watching the view and letting herself relax, but now, she felt troubled again. The dream didn’t make sense to her. Was that Matt or Spencer? If it was Matt, was he there to save her, or was it Matt that she should be afraid of? What was her brain trying to tell her, and what was Spencer’s role in all of this?
She looked over at Matt again. He was out of his seat and talking to Jacob at the front of the jet. She couldn’t listen to what he was saying from her seat, but his face was serious, and he seemed to be giving Jacob some instructions. Jessica felt conflicted about Matt. She was in a dilemma of what to think and what to believe. She couldn’t just simply sit still with knowing the fact that Matt knew Spencer, and everything Matt had just revealed to her—about knowing Spencer for a long time, teaching him all he knew about gambling, about hearing about her from Spencer—confused her even further. One part of her brain told her to be cautious of this mysterious man, but another part of it told her she was just being paranoid. At this moment, given her present distressed state of mind, the former part of her brain took over her thoughts. She was scared of the man she had married. She had only an inkling of him, but she didn’t know what he was really like. “You do know a little bit about him, and you will get to know him better gradually,”she told herself.
But what if I don’t like what I find?
What had she gotten herself into? There could be a chance that Matt was a conman or worse, she could be in real danger. He was rich and powerful, and men in power often were known to misuse it.
Surely, Matt wouldn’t do that, given how he is with his employees and how they all love him, right?
Suddenly, Jessica’s heart leaped inside her chest as a thought occurred to her—they were married now. What if Matt forced her into having sex with him? He was, after all, her lawfully wedded husband, and she was his wife. It would seem natural for him to want to have sex with her, but what if he forced her against her wishes? Jessica calculated her options. She was the wife of a rich and powerful man who had leverage against her. He had rescued her from the worst disaster of her life, which was her own doing. If she hadn’t agreed to marry him, she would be a convicted prisoner rotting in jail, so she couldn’t possibly turn to the law to go against him if he did decide to force himself on her. That would only put her in a harsher light, so it was out of the question. That would mean she was defenseless against his advances and utterly vulnerable, at the mercy of his will. She bit her lip and felt another wave of cold sweat break out all over her body. She was jittery, nervous, and fidgeting with her hands. Her legs were jumping rhythmically under the dress, as was her habit when she got nervous.
“Hey, you still seem distressed. What was in that nightmare you saw?” Matt’s voice came through to her worry-riddled mind.
“Oh, uhh… nothing! I’m just getting tired of the plane ride. When do we get off?” she spoke in an out-of-balanced voice.
“We’re almost there, another thirty minutes at most. There’s been some slight turbulence, which is why we are a little bit delayed,” said Matt, his eyes fleeting out the window for a second and coming back to look at her.
“Okay.”
