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Okay, maybe it is nothing. These guys gamble all over the world, so this must just be a coincidence. Plus, they’re after Spencer, not me.
Matt was distracted and missed what Jessica had been telling him.
“Sorry, what was that?” he said.
“Matt, I asked you if you were feeling okay. You look like you have seen a ghost,” Jessica said.
“No, it’s nothing. Just a little distracted. Had to take care of some admin business back at the manager’s office. Don’t worry about me,” he assured her.
“Okay, if you say so, but you know we could just turn in for the night. I wouldn’t mind giving up the gambling tonight for the better option of getting your undivided attention,” she said, clinging onto his arm and speaking to his neck.
Her words made him hard.
Damn woman.
“Mhmm… I definitely would like that much better,” Matt said, kissing her on the top of the head. He looked over to where the Coretti brothers were and noticed them staring at him from across the room. Feeling uncomfortable, he got up with Jessica and protectively held her to his side as they went to their penthouse suite.
Jessica had no clue what was going on, and neither did Matt, but he hoped it wasn’t anything bad and it was all just a coincidence.
40
Jessica was slightly drunk as she and Matt got into the elevator to go up to the 25thfloor to their suite. She was in a good mood and alone in the elevator that she couldn’t help but lean closer to Matt.
“You smell so good, husband,” she said.
Matt chuckled. “You too. You always smell good.”
They were about to kiss when the elevator opened, and a couple came in. Jessica felt impatient because she just wanted Matt at that moment, and she could tell that Matt felt the same. She couldn’t wait to get to their suite as soon as possible. The elevator opened at their floor, and they walked up to their suite. Matt was taking out his keys when Jessica said, “Matt, hurry up.”
Matt sensed her desire, and in a rush, unlocked their door. She stumbled in and threw her shoes away. She heard the door close behind her, and as soon as she turned around, Matt’s mouth came down on hers. She readily kissed him back with equal intensity. Seeing her response, Matt picked her by the thighs and hastily carried her to the bed. They were both slightly drunk and Jessica found the taste of Matt’s mouth on hers even more intoxicating than all the alcohol she had consumed. He laid her down on the bed and pressed down on top of her, deliciously close. One of his hands cupped the back of her head while the other one held one of her thighs, lifting it up so that his midsection pressed onto her. She felt his erection digging into her, and desire made her insides warm. She hooked her hands inside his shirt and was going to run them over his back when he stopped them.
“Matt, please. Let me touch you. I want you so much, just- please,” she pleaded.
“Jessica, I can’t,” Matt said, and he sounded genuinely in pain.
“Why? I will do as you ask, but I just want to know why,” she said.
“It’s a long story. You don’t want to know,” he said.
“But I do. Don’t you get it, Matt? I do. I want to know the reason so I can understand you better. You have to let me in. Let me be closer to you. I crave for you so much/ Please, Matt,” she said as she grabbed his head back down and kissed him again. When they finally broke the kiss, Matt sat up beside her. For the longest time, he was silent. Just when Jessica thought he was not going to tell her anything, Matt spoke.
“Her name was Bella. I met her at the park where the cool kids used to hang out after school to catch a smoke or get high and stuff. She wasn’t from our school because her family couldn’t afford it, but she was always there, hanging out with kids from our school. At first, she was introduced to me through a mutual friend of ours. We started talking, and pretty soon, I was falling for her hard. Back then, I thought I loved her. I was just seventeen, and this girl suddenly made me feel all these different feelings. We dated for a few months. At the start, she was great —good girl with good grades —and our relationship was progressing smoothly, but she started to hang out with some of the bad crowds out there—some kids who were into illegal drugs and always getting into trouble. I tried to convince her not to spend time with them, but she would just tell me not to worry and that she wasn’t doing anything too rough., just the occasional recreational use. I was a fool, so I believed her. One day, I found her passed out in an alley, so I brought her home and tended to her. The next morning, when she woke up, she was very sorry, cried, and promised me she would never hang out with those people again. I believed her again. I was someone who saw the best in people, you know, and because she was my girlfriend, I took her word for it. That day, we were in bed together, and things were getting heated up. Whenever we were together, she liked to be very dominant, and I let her because I liked it. That day, she tied my hands back, and when I was in a vulnerable position, she attacked me. I hadn’t noticed the knife she carried with her. She stabbed me twice with the knife because she wanted to steal money from me for drugs. She had made sure she was in my room and that I was restrained. She took my wallet, my watches, and whatever expensive thing she could find around my room and left me, all bloody and passed out from the pain and shock. Annabeth found me. You can guess everything that happened later. I was rushed to the ER and had to get stitches in my back. The scars don’t display the level of pain and shock I went through, but they’re a living reminder of that horrible day. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to let any partner touch me in bed. Whenever I feel a touch on my body, I am taken back to that day when she attacked me. I have tried to get rid of these thoughts, tried not to have this reaction, but I can’t help it, Jessica. One touch and I’m back to that position in bed, tied up and helpless. A few years later, I got the news that she had died from an overdose.”
Jessica was shocked into silence. She was having trouble breathing after hearing Matt’s story. She imagined a young Matt going through such a horrible experience, and her heart broke for him. She couldn’t imagine living through the trauma that it caused him.
“Oh my god, Matt. This is unspeakable. I’m so sorry,” she said in a broken voice. Her chest was physically aching. All she wanted was to touch him, hug and soothe him, let him know she was there for him, and that she would do anything, give anything for him, but that was the one thing she couldn’t do.
“No, I’m sorry. I know you don’t deserve this, but I just can’t control it,” Matt said, putting his head into his hands. Jessica felt insufferable sadness seeing him this way.
“Please, never say sorry to me for this. I can’t imagine what you went through, Matt. I’m sorry I insisted that you tell me the story. I’m sorry I made you relive those moments in your memory,” she said.
“You would have to know eventually,” answered Matt.
Jessica pulled his face up and stared into his eyes, hoping she could convey all the sincerity she felt in her words. “It’s completely fine, you know? It doesn’t matter if I don’t touch you in bed. Just having you to me is enough.”
“Why are you so kind? Oh my god, why?” Matt said and closed the distance between them. Jessica gently laid down on the bed, guiding Matt over her, careful not to touch his back. Matt was gentle on her, and she could feel the sadness roll off him like a physical force. She whispered into his lips, “It’s okay.”
“But it’s so unfair that only I will touch but you can’t touch me,” he said.
