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She secured the door before speaking again.
“Dereck, is something wrong?” Alina walked towards him, her eyebrows raised and her hand outstretched to take his, but Dereck simply backed away from her.
“You really had me fooled,” he said, circling on the spot while clenching his fist.
Alina’s breath caught in her chest, and she swayed from one foot to the other. “What are you talking about?” A few stray strands fell to her face, and she pushed it back aggressively.
Dereck’s eyes were bulging now and his expression was bewildered. It was obvious he was fighting with himself to remain composed. When he spoke again, it was slow and between gritted teeth. “I am talking about you and the complaint you sent to my bosses.”
Alina was looking in Dereck’s general location, but when he spoke, her eyes pierced his. Her jaw dropped, leaving her mouth open and lips quivering. The first thing she could think of was to apologize.
“Dereck, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to him, but he backed away from her again, putting up his hand to stop her advances. Alina brought her hands to her chest, and the tears pooled in her eyes. “I wrote that letter a long time ago. Before I knew you. Before I fell in love with you.”
Dereck looked at Alina with an upturned nose. First, she deceived him and now she was trying to use love to lessen his anger. He was not falling for it. “You listened to me talk about how difficult it was making my life and you said nothing.” His voice was raised and harsh. “You deceived and manipulated your way into my life.”
“That was never my intention,” Alina shook her head from side to side. “I know I’ve misled you…”
“Misled?” Dereck roared, cutting Alina’s sentence. “You tried to get me fired.” He was shouting now, enough for the neighbors to hear, but his words were having a more lethal effect on her.
“I recanted that letter.” Alina’s eyes were wide. “I was never going to let it affect you.”
Dereck calmed his voice to a vindictive whisper. “No. You were just going to keep lying to me.”
Dereck was right, Alina had no intention of telling him about the letter.
“I was scared,” Alina screamed. “We’d just had an amazing time. The best I’d had with a man in a long time. I didn’t want to damper our first date with a letter I wrote when I didn’t know you. I was afraid of chasing you away.”
“So you choose to taint our relationship with lies and deceit instead. You know…” Dereck paused and combed his hair with his hands. “What aches me the most is not the letter. We couldn’t tolerate each other at first. I get it. But you hid it from me and watched as my bosses harassed me about the issue. And that…” He shook his head. “That I cannot accept.”
Alina’s tears finally pushed through her barrier, causing her words to come out like a hoarse whisper. She dropped her hands to her side and dropped her shoulders in defeat. “What are you saying Dereck?”
“I’m saying that I don’t think I can be with you after this. Let’s end this here.” Dereck spoke in a concise manner before he walked out of the door. Only then did Alina’s feet crumble underneath her body as she fell to the floor and she sobbed heavily for what she had lost.
12
There was nothing extraordinary happening outside, yet Alina remained transfixed on the window. She had been in that position since she woke up, barely dragging herself out of bed. She managed to brew herself a cup of coffee, but it was now late afternoon and that was the only content of her stomach. When the phone rang, she did not even bother turning her head in its direction. It would soon run out of charge and no longer aggravate her with its high-pitched sounds.
If anyone saw Alina, it would be hard to believe that she was a renowned artist with several successful gallery shows attached to her name. Alina had sold many paintings, many of which landed in the five-figure category, yet for more than a week, she remained crippled, unable to cope with everyday life.
“Oh, Alina.” She grabbed the blonde tresses on her head and tugged at it, pulling a few strands of the knotted mass loose. “How could you have done something so stupid?” she roared at herself, following it with another one of her frustrated screams.
Alina was dressed in a short-patterned bottom with a matching top, the same outfit she had worn after her bath which was two days before. She simply wrapped herself in a blanket that concealed her fading tan. Her blue eyes, which normally sparkled with their sapphire hue, were now dull. Alina’s full lips displayed the first signs of dehydration, though her kitchen was fully stocked with the necessity of life.
She sighed now, the sound of depression bouncing on the walls of her studio apartment. It was a normal occurrence in the past few days for her to shed a tear, but as she watched a couple walking on the streets below, hand in hand, the sobs turned into a full wail.
Alina screamed at herself, solidifying what her neighbors must believe about her at that moment. “Why are you so pathetic?”
A pain suddenly hit her chest, and she grabbed at it as mucus began to flow from her nose. Alina simply used the back of her free hand to wipe the discharge from her face. Yet the pain of knowing that she had what this couple shared and lost it remained long after the couple disappeared around the neighboring building.
Alina’s phone rang again, the sound intensifying with the pain in her head until it stopped; the screen went completely dark. She looked at the phone then and scrunched her nose at it. “It’s about freaking time.”
As if to test her threshold for nuisances, there suddenly came three fast bangs on her door. Alina breathed out hard but did not attempt to move.
“Alina, it’s me,” Taylor’s voice came through the door. Taylor was Alina’s best friend. The first friend she made after moving to New York from Maryland to venture into a career her parents did not approve of.
Unlike her friend, Taylor sported black hair she usually kept draped over her back. Her green eyes were never hampered by the glasses she refused to wear but were highlighted by contact lenses. Taylor was a bit more curvaceous than her friend, with a small waist and wide curving hips that usually attracted a long line of male suitors. Male suitors that she kept for no more than a week.
“If you don’t answer me, I’m coming in,” Taylor warned as Alina remained impartial to her friend’s threat. Taylor’s voice was loud, and Alina expected her fair share of complaints about her friend’s insistent roaring.
