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“I want you forever,” he whispers into the darkness.
My gaze searches his through the sliver of moonlight that sips through the crack in the blinds. “Forever is a long time, Avery.”
His fingers press into my face as he holds my gaze. “Forever, Claire.”
The fear that grips me, squeezes at my heart, loosens its hold just a bit. “I want you forever, too.”
***
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Claire
I stare down at the black and white print in my shaking hands. If it hadn’t truly hit me before, it’s hitting me like a brick wall now.
It’s real. This whole thing is real. I’m growing a baby inside of me, half me, half Avery.
And I’m utterly and undeniably petrified.
The ultrasound technician squeezes my hand, flashes me a reassuring smile, and then hands me a Kleenex for my tears, which pretty much haven’t stopped since Thursday. My eyes burn and my nose is raw.
“What a wonderful way to start your Monday, isn’t it?” she says with a happy sigh. “There’s nothing like seeing the magic you’ve created for the first time.”
I don’t have the words to agree with her, though I do, as scared as I am. Everything’s lost somewhere in my throat.
“I can schedule you in again for Friday morning, if you’d like. You can bring Daddy with you. We should be able to hear the heartbeat loud and clear.”
My face lifts, meeting her kind eyes. “Hear it?”
Smiling, she nods. “Yup. I have a 9:30 slot, or a 10:15.”
Friday. That makes eight days since the doctor told us one week. Dad will be gone by then, or, by some stroke of magic, he’ll still be hanging on. Though I doubt it. By yesterday afternoon, he wasn’t able to stay awake for more than an hour at a time.
But if he is, I’ll bring him with me. With me and Avery. I’ll tell them both by then, and then I’ll show them.
“9:30 will be fine,” I mumble, staring down at my picture, my baby.
A few minutes later, I stop outside Dad’s room, staring through the small window in the door. Vivi’s sitting on Avery’s lap by the edge of the bed, and Dad is propped on way too many pillows. There’s a table between them as they play cards, and Casey and Charlee are sitting off in the corner, talking quietly. Turkey is curled up at Dad’s feet, his head resting over his legs. That was Avery’s doing. He managed to convince the doctor. Don’t ask me how; the man can talk anyone into anything.
Casey catches my eye and slips out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. His eyelids are heavy, red and raw. “Hey. Where’d you disappear off to?”
I pull the ultrasound picture out of my purse and slide it into his hands. His smile is so big, warm, genuine. He wraps me up in his arms, rocking me back and forth.
“How far?”
“Eight weeks this Friday,” I whisper.
“You still haven’t told him.” It’s not a question.
I take a deep breath and let it go. It feels oddly cleansing, cathartic even. “I will, Casey. It’s just, with everything…I’m so overwhelmed right now. There are so many different emotions in my head, and I can’t sort through them.” How do you find the right time to tell someone he’s going to be a father, when your own father is wasting away on his deathbed?
Casey pulls me into him, kissing my forehead. “I know, Claire Bear. I know.” He hesitates for a moment too long, and I know whatever he’s going to says next isn’t good.
“What?”
“The doctor came while you were gone.”
Remember when I felt cleansed and cathartic a minute ago? Yeah, that’s fucking gone. “And?”
