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Charlee: So you ARE on a date.
Aaron: Are you kidding me? You’re already dating someone? That’s the same guy from the bar. I remember him. Fuck you, Claire, you fucking slut.
I simply can’t with Aaron. I can’t spend any amount of my downtime with a man while I’m single, yet it’s perfectly acceptable for him to sleep with other girls while he’s in an actual long-term relationship? How delusional can one man be?
Clenching my teeth, I stuff my phone into Vivi’s bag before I give into the desire to chuck it at a tree.
Avery’s hand settles on softly on my knee, drawing my gaze to his face. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine.” I’m sure the way my voice crackles and my hands flail around my face let him know that everything is not fine, but I’d rather not go down this road with him.
“Claire.”
“Avery.”
“Come on,” he urges, giving my knee a gentle squeeze. “What’s up?”
It’s real weird to go this long without taunting and teasing each other. He’s actually ridiculously nice when he’s not being so smug. Maybe that’s why I find myself pulling my phone out, navigating to Aaron’s message.
He takes it from my hand with a curious look, and I watch as his lips move while reads. His pupils dilate, taking his eyes brown a rich, milk chocolate, to a starless night. His fingers start flying over the screen, typing furiously.
“What are you doing?” I lean over him, but his hand comes out, pushing on my chest to keep me away while he finishes whatever the hell it is he’s doing. “Avery, what are you doing?”
Tension creeps up my spine when I hear that familiar chime my phone makes when I’ve sent a message.
Avery deposits my phone in my palm and goes back to drinking his fake tea, pinky out and everything, just like Vivi taught him.
Bringing my phone to my face, my suspicions are confirmed: Avery responded to Aaron.
Me: Hey bud. I’m sure you’re aware, but you had your chance with Claire and you blew it. You fucked up royally. I suspect, from your message, that you realize that. You don’t get to make her feel guilty about her decisions just because you threw away the best thing you’ve ever had and you’re trying to backtrack now. Claire is amazing, sassy, hilarious, kind, and with a huge heart. But you already know that. If I find out you ever speak to her or about her in that manner again, you and I will be having this conversation face-to-face, and I won’t be so nice. Sincerely, the guy from the bar.
Heat floods my face as I reread those words over and over again, my hand settling at the base of my throat. Is it weird that I’m oddly turned on right now? Angry, defensive Avery is…I mean…wow.
I watch those three little dots wiggle on my screen, indicating Aaron’s typing a response. They stop and start again three times. Then they stop for good. No message comes through.
A drop of water splatters to my phone screen and I reach up to touch my fingertip to the corner of my eye, where that traitor has accidentally leaked from.
“Hey.” Avery’s patient, tender voice coaxes my gaze to his as he threads his fingers through mine. “I didn’t mean to…I…I’m sorry, Claire. I didn’t mean to overstep. I just—”
“No.” My head wags back and forth. “You didn’t. I’m just…surprised. That was really nice of you. No one’s ever stuck up for me like that. Thank you, Avery.”
“I won’t let him talk to you like that.”
My swallow is thick and dry as his deep stare holds mine.
Until I can’t anymore. I don’t know what’s happening, why he’s looking at me like that, why I’m looking at him like that. The thoughts in my brain swirl, making it feel like a muddled mess, and I avert my gaze in an attempt to break the connection, whatever connection there is.
I busy myself with my sandwich and my thoughts, and I’m not sure how much time has passed when Avery speaks again, his voice quiet and pensive.
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
My head lifts. Vivi is now curled up between his spread legs, her cheek resting on his strong thigh. Avery’s fingers are in her hair, twirling the tip of one of her braids while she sleeps. Aaron was never like this with Vivi. He avoided her, and most family gatherings, at all costs.
So, do I still have feelings for Aaron?
“No.” I hug my knees to my chest. “Things weren’t right for a while. Looking back, I don’t think they were ever really that good. I just got stuck, I think. Stuck in the familiarity of it, the routine I was comfortable with.” My shoulders pop up and down. “It was a safety blanket, even if it wasn’t healthy, and I didn’t leave when I should have.” I sigh quietly. “I’m an idiot.”
“There’s no shame in staying in a relationship longer than you should have when you’re just trying to hold on to the good stuff, when you’re trying to make it work.”
