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I rest my cheek on my knees so I can look at Avery. He’s not at all what or who I thought he’d be. I’ve been surprised by him nearly every day, but today more than ever.
“I guess so, but I hung on about a year-and-a-half too long. At some point it feels a little less like hope and a lot more like desperation, stupidity.” My cheeks blaze with my truth. If Avery wanted me for more than sex before, he won’t now. I’m undecided if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
His mouth quirks to the side while he thinks. “I disagree, but I won’t argue with you.”
My brows lift. “You won’t? But arguing’s what we do best.”
He lets out a soft chuckle. “We do argue well, but I think there’s a few other things we do well besides our witty banter.”
Like what? Kissing? Touching?
“Like this,” he continues, sweeping one arm out. “Right now, talking without chewing each other’s head off. This is nice, just being with you. And Princess Anna too, of course,” he adds with the tilt of his mouth.
“Of course,” I murmur my agreement. I study him carefully, because if this is Avery—this handsome, kind, sweet man beside me who instills just enough petulance in me to evoke raging passion in my bloodstream—how the hell is he single? “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Any relationships you stayed in longer than you should have?”
He makes a sound, half chuckle, half throat-clearing. “Uh…” He scratches his jaw.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never been in a relationship?” I sit up straight, kicking my legs out in front of me, resting my weight on my palms.
Avery gives me a half smile, like he’s not sure whether honesty will be the best policy in this moment. “Not really, to be truthful.”
“How come?” Give me all the details, Avery. Tell me how you love women too much to ever commit to just one. Remind my brain why it needs to tell my heart to back the hell off.
His gaze wanders before focusing on Vivi in his lap, the copper braid he’s twirling over his fingers. He glances up at me. “Honestly?”
“Of course.”
“My parents are and always have been the best example of true love. I’ve never doubted their commitment to each other. It’s always seemed like…more. More than just love and a desire to be together, physically. They’re best friends and I’ve always been able to see that. They bicker like crazy, tell each other off when they need to, and they’re always honest. They drive each other insane, but they love each other just as fiercely. There’s just always been…passion between them. It’s never been difficult to see.” He lifts one lazy shoulder, letting it fall. “I guess I just…what’s the point if it’s anything less than that? I think it needs to be more than just wanting to be with someone. More like…needing to be with them. I’ve never seen the point in wasting my time on anything less.”
I’m floored by the sweetness tucked into his truth, his reason why, because it’s not at all what I was expecting. A grin explodes across my face and Avery smiles, tapping the corner of my mouth.
“What are you smiling at?”
I shake my head. “Just surprised.”
“That I have a heart?” he teases.
I giggle. “I knew you had a heart. I just thought your dick was bigger than your heart.”
If he’s shocked by my words, his expression does nothing to show it. “Trust me, Claire, my dick is plenty big. I can show you, if you like.”
“You’ve got my two-and-a-half-year-old niece in your lap,” I remind him.
He looks down at her with total adoration, stroking her pink cheek. “Where is her mom?”
I don’t realize I’ve sidled my way up to him and leaned into his side until he winds his arm around my waist, holding me close to him. Looking down at the tiniest person to have ever owned my heart, I sigh.
“My brother dated this girl Angela for a short time. It wasn’t working out and he was planning on breaking up with her. I think she knew it. She showed up one day and told him she was pregnant. Literally said now you can’t leave me. It was almost as if she planned it, but we’ll never know for sure, of course.”
Casey was twenty-six at the time and had just moved to Toronto a few months prior to be on his own. Dex was about the only person he had in the city, aside from Angela.
“The thing is, Angela didn’t actually want the baby at all. She just wanted Casey. When it was clear that Casey wanted to be in his baby’s life, but not with her, she decided to get rid of it…of Vivi.”
A stabbing tightness swells in my chest as I imagine a life where she’d gone through with the abortion, where Casey wasn’t able to convince her to keep the baby, a life where Vivi didn’t exist and light up my entire world. I don’t realize a tear trickles from my eye until Avery’s thumb sweeps across my cheek, catching it.
